Reflecting on the Harvest

Posted by Leona Bergstrom
Autumn is the wonderful season of the year when the world vibrates with the Creator’s colorful artistry. I love it. I love the challenges presented by the fall season as children head back to school and ministries start new programs. The air is electric with anticipation and hope. The autumn also is the time for harvest. Here in the Northwest we have huge festivals and fairs where farmers can display and celebrate the fruits of their labor. The harvest is their reward. My grandma taught me a lot about harvest. I spent my entire childhood on my grandparents’ farm in Wheatridge, Colo., where we raised corn, beans, tomatoes, strawberries, raspberries, and inevitably, zucchini. I loved the harvest because it seemed as if there were unending amounts of luscious crops. As a small child it never occurred to me how much work was involved in producing these fruits and vegetables. I thought it came easy. But, over the years, as I grew up and expanded my understanding of life, I began to learn the lessons Grandma wanted to teach me about all of the work it took to have a bountiful harvest.

Grandma taught me that seeds had to be carefully selected and purchased, that the dark rich soil had to be tilled and prepared for planting; that we had to plant the seeds the right depth, spaced apart just right—and in STRAIGHT rows! Then there was irrigating, hoeing, covering the plants during hail storms and the inevitable and boring weeding. All of that before we could enjoy one bite of juicy corn on the cob. When my grandma died and met the Lord of the Harvest face to face, I believe she experienced the unspeakable joy of her life’s harvest. This time it wasn’t corn or beans, tomatoes or strawberries, but the harvest of the seeds of faith she planted throughout her life.

Grandma had endured great hardships in her 92 years, yet through her life she never stopped trusting her Lord. She always taught me that the God of all creation was in control, that nothing surprised him and that he loved us during times of pain as well as joy. By the time Grandma died she had cared for and buried all of her sisters and brothers, her husband and one son. She had endured life’s normal and extraordinary trials.

When I would go through dark valleys in my life, she would always remind me of God’s undying faithfulness. She planted seeds of faith every day of her life. My grandmother was not a preacher or an evangelist. She was a little farm woman from Wheatridge. But the seeds of faith she planted are producing fruit in the lives of the generations living today.

The lesson is for our lives too. We can take our simple seeds of faith and plant them deep into the soil of his sovereignty and love, water them in his grace, weed out the sin, let the heat of trials beat down and rejoice in the succulent goodness of his harvest produced in our lives and in the lives of those whom we touch.
(Photos by DaDaAce and kmakice, shared via Flickr).

A grandmother in the White House?

Posted by Terry McNichols

No, this isn't a politically-oriented post so close to election day. But a friend sent me this link regarding the possibility of a grandmother in the White House. I thought the post was fun and interesting, and the site, Grandparents.com, worth mentioning. There is a wealth of good information on all kinds of things "grandparenty." This article also mentions the book by our author friend and occasional guest poster, Donna VanderGriend, Out of the Mouths of Grandbabes: Bedtime Stories for Grandparents, and suggests it as required reading!

See here or here for a look at Donna's prior posts!

Telling the Truth

Posted by Terry McNichols

"Let's tell the truth to the people. When people ask, 'How are you?' have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully. You must know, however, that people will start avoiding you because they, too, have knees that pain them and heads that hurt and they don't want to know about yours. But think of it this way: If people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you." Maya Angelou in Letter to my Daughter (Random House)

Rerun Tuesdays - Even if it is sagging

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

A chapter in one of my favorite books about women in midlife is entitled “Strut your stuff, even if it is sagging.” Of course the chapter is about accepting our bodies as they are… blah, blah blah.

Naturally I read it with half-hearted agreement.

But this week I found myself doomed to sagging. Yes, my insurance company rejected, denied, flat out said “no” to approving an upper eyelid blepharoplasty. Even though my eye doctor felt my sagging eyelids inhibits my vision, and the plastic surgeon submitted startling photos of my hooded eyes (without makeup!), the powers that be at Regence Blue Shield denied authorization.

I have to admit I’m disappointed. I had hoped that this simple surgery would lift my lids and reveal my sparkling blue eyes, rendering my true youthful inner being. My deepest desire was for people to quit telling me how tired I look!

So this morning I’m resigned to sagging. Guess I’ll go put on my make-up and make an effort to strut.

Pity the next person that tells me I look tired.

Yet another list!

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

This list has circled the internet, wrongly attributed to several different authors:

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is one’s self. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love. Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
-- author unknown
(photo by Edward B., shared via Flickr)

Happy Birthday Ken!

Posted by Terry McNichols

Today one more person joins me in the 60-and-over age bracket. My husband, Ken, has caught up with me once again. Ken's wish list for his birthday includes a senior membership to the health club and a wagon. Yup, he wants a wagon to pull his grandkids around. Looks like a good plan for the upcoming years -- keeping healthy and playing with our peeps. Happy Birthday hubby!(photo by intimaj, shared via Flickr)

A writer's eye

Posted by Terry McNichols

I heard David Sedaris interviewed by Rick Steves on the radio the other day. In talking about how he writes, he said, "Because I'm always on the hunt for something to write about, perhaps I remember things that other people don't." Rick's response was, "Oh, you're a lint brush!"

But seriously, the fun of writing this blog is just that! I've always been a lint brush, writing first lines of books in my head, noticing odd little ironies that others might miss. But now I have the fun of passing that lint off daily to all of you. Thanks for reading all the lint I'm collecting!

Oops, too late!

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I was trying to convince my husband that exercising at our local gym would increase the likelihood of him living longer. With prophetic insight mixed and a certain degree of nagging I stressed, “You don’t want to die young, do you?” To which he replied, “I’m too old to die young.”

Whoa. I wonder when we crossed that line where it’s assumed that we’ve spent our youth. At what point does someone go from saying, “Oh, but he was so young,” to “Well, he lived a long, good life?”

As Billy Joel sang, “only the good die young.” At least we don’t have to be good anymore.

(Photos by Phil Dowsing and echo esofstars, shared via Flickr)

Rerun Tuesdays - On Turning 60

Posted by Terry McNichols
(This was posted near the time of my 60th birthday -- I wasn't feeling terribly "young@heart!)

I turned 60 last week and it was a day I was dreading. I didn’t expect that 60 would come so quickly, or that it would be fraught with aches and pains. I always assumed I would age gracefully and beautifully, able to stay active, travel, enjoy my life. But sometime before my birthday I somehow injured my knee and couldn’t take my walks, could barely get in and out of my car, couldn’t garden, and couldn’t get down on the floor with my grand babes. Guilt upon my head for all those times I walked ahead of my own mother, agonizing at her slow speed and trying to hurry her along. It is not easy to slow me down and I resent the very idea that I might not be able to do whatever I want to do.

Sure you can keep telling me that I still have many wonderful years ahead, but I believe that I am going to need to work hard to make that happen. So I am resolving to work diligently on that knee and keep it functional for just a few more years.

It is pretty easy, during the down times, to start to think that my usefulness is pretty much in the past. Maybe I don’t have any more energy or talents or gifts to offer for the betterment of the world, I begin to think. Time to shrivel up and call it a wrap. But in the midst of thinking these happy birthday thoughts, a thank-you card arrived in my mail from Leona’s mother, an 81-year old widow who is still actively living out her place in the world. The quote on that card is the theme of this blog about grace and gravity. Leona and I have always dreamed about teaming up on something, anything. We’ve teamed up on many great family outings (yes, she’s married to my brother), lots of fun times together, great conversations, dreams, ideas, years of supporting each other and our families. We’ve weathered a lot of storms together. And now we are venturing out, to see if we indeed have anything new to offer to the vast internet community. Here, then, is the quote:

"BLESSED ARE THE AVAILABLE
Blessed are the conduits, the tunnels, the tools.
DELIRIOUSLY JOYFUL
are the ones who believe that if God has used
sticks and rocks to do His will, then He can use us."
Max Lucado

Young@Heart

Posted by Terry McNichols

If you haven't watched the movie, Young@Heart, run out and get it. Watch the trailer below to get an idea of the content, but you have to get this movie! These people, in their 80's and 90's, are performing all over the world. My favorite line was "from continent to continent, 'til I become incontinent!" I've decided to adopt that line as my new travel motto. We all need to find things that excite us and keep us motivated, up to the very last minute of our lives.

Birding for Beginners

Posted by Terry McNichols

When my husband first became interested in birds, I rather dutifully joined in. My attention span was never as great as his and I would often sit in the car and read while he looked for tiny little brown jobbies hidden amongst the leaves of trees. I thought the point of bird watching was to collect as many species as you could for your life list and that would be it. Imagine my shock when I realized he intended to go back again and again, looking for the same little hard-to-find birds. I was tolerant, but not engaged.

Then I discovered the world of ducks. Here was something I could actually see and identify. I got myself a good pair of binoculars, a duck cheat sheet and was hooked. I had no idea there were so many different kinds of ducks in the world. Before, a duck was "just" a duck. Check out this picture of a wood duck, and try to convince me that ducks aren't beautiful creatures. And I found that I was pretty good at identifying ducks, often based on subtle differences. I started getting excited at the flap of wings overhead.

It wasn't a very big leap then, from ducks to other birds. We spent one May in Minnesota and found ourselves chasing tiny little warblers, spotting 16 or 18 different ones while there. We will drive long distances to visit a place where there might be a special woodpecker or a bird we especially love. In fact, I've even come to love the little brown jobbies.

But the most important gift that birding offers is the ability to see the world through different eyes. We notice things that we hadn't noticed before. We hear things that we hadn't heard. We revel in God's infinite creativity! We plan on spending a lot of time in these, our "later" years, getting to know the birds we ignored in the busyness of our prior lives.
(Photos: wood duck by jonathan_moreau; yellow-throated warbler by hart-cure, both shared via Flickr).

Just sits there...

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Children are great at bringing things into perspective. My brother-in-law recently told me about the evangelistic efforts of his 7-year old grandson (our great-nephew). Seems like this little guy loves to share Jesus with all of his classmates. He’s even been called into the principal’s office for preaching on the playground.

Recently, he was talking to his friend who professed to be a Buddhist. After some comparative discussion about Jesus and Buddha, our nephew simply said, “Well, at least my God doesn’t just SIT there.”

This little guy understands the reality of a living Jesus in his life better than many theologians I know. Preach it, buddy!

Auntie Ruth

Posted by Terry McNichols

This story was written by a cousin of mine in Montana. Auntie Ruth was my grandmother's sister, living to the age of 97. She and her husband, Oscar, never had kids, but loved all of us! Here is a story from the latter days of her driving!

Our family has many fond memories of Auntie Ruth but a lot of them involve her driving skills. Here's one I'd like to share with you:

Ruth and Oscar purchased a brand new "sunflower yellow" two-door, hard-top Ford Maverick. They loved to go on Sunday drives but did so nearly every day of the week. They would often times talk about where they had gone or what they had seen but forgot to include some of the details. Like the time they told Ray about their nice drive to Buffalo Hills Golf Course. "It was so pretty and people were so friendly, they all waved and honked" she told him. Our son, Tim, arrived home later that day from a high school golf tournament that had taken place at that same golf course. "You wouldn't believe what happened today. I'm playing with my foursome when people started hollering and waving their arms, someone was honking and I looked up only to see a yellow Ford Maverick driving down the cart path."

It was Auntie Ruth and Uncle Oscar and they had obviously taken a wrong turn.

Rerun Tuesdays - our feelings about long life

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

We have worked hard at adding years to life – through research and medical advancement.

But, we meant to add years to our youth.

We want more years when we are 25 and young and healthy and virile and independent.

But added years of life didn’t get credited to that account. They were credited to the later years. That part of life of which we are most afraid, most dread, and least understand. We don’t really get more years to be with our babies, learn and discover new and exciting things, pursue power, money and sex.

No, we get more years to watch our bodies morph on us into something we neither recognize nor appreciate. We have more years to deal with chronic illness. More years to be alone without a spouse. More years to be devalued, unappreciated. More years to be old. More years to be what we were trying not to be.

This is cause for despair. Fear. Angst.

How are we as a generation going to appreciate having more years to live when somehow we feel so gypped and are so resentful?

How are we going to live longer when we don’t know how to be old?
(Photo by 1Sock, shared via Flickr)

To know my heart

Posted by Terry McNichols
I said something jokingly to a friend in a public setting that I later thought about. I decided it had a snippy sound and might have the possibility of being taken wrongly. I worried about it a bit and then wrote a short note, apologizing in case of hurt. The response I got back was this: "You absolutely didn't offend me. I took it as a compliment. It would take a lot for me to be offended by you. I know your heart."

I have been thinking a lot about that statement. How different would our lives be if all we come in contact with would give us the benefit of the doubt, assuming good intentions? I want this from my friends, my spouse, my children, their spouses. I want to assume good intentions of those I meet, modeling my response after that of my friend. I am honored to be known.
(Photo by LightSpectral, shared via Flickr)

The Cyclone

Posted by Terry McNichols

Here's a quote on fear from the author of The Dance of Fear, one of my favorite authors, Harriet Lerner:

I grew up in Brooklyn, New York, not far from Coney Island. Whenever I visited the amusement park, I was both terrified and enticed by a ride called the Cyclone, a daunting, high-speed roller coaster. Over several summers, I watched kids about my age get on and off that ride. I stood by as an observer, amazed by their fearlessness.

One day, a particularly sweet-looking boy strapped himself into the first car. When the ride was over, I approached him, "How did you do it?" I asked bluntly. "How do you get over being afraid?"

"You don't get over it," he told me. "You just buy a ticket."

Remember to breath. Harriet Lerner, PhD, in article in July/August 2001 Psychotherapy Networker

(Photo by wallyg, shared via Flickr)

Do Not Fear - Chuck Swindoll

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Here is a list regarding fears from Chuck Swindoll. Read another article by him here.

Fears:
1. As they occur admit them.
2. As you admit them, commit them to God.
3. As you commit them, release them.
4. As you release them, resist them.
5. As you resist them, stand firm.

Fear - the beginning

Posted by Terry McNichols
I have put off my thread on fear, because I need to go back to the beginning. Well, it's not actually the beginning, I'm sure, but it was a turning point for me as an adult. We lived in a Navy town, next door to the hospital where my husband worked. I never locked my doors, trusting that I was protected, living in fact inside the fence at the Navy base, with a guard at every gate. How much safer could one get?

One day, about mid-morning, I was upstairs with my two toddlers, aged 3 and 1. I heard someone come in the back door and assumed it was my husband. I called out to him. No answer. I came down the stairs and found a man in pajamas in my living room. I recall thinking "Why are you jogging through my living room?" but I don't know if I actually said that or not. My immediate reaction was to turn and run out the front door, screaming and banging on the neighbor's door.

This story had a happy ending. Several Navy corpsmen appeared immediately, having been chasing the man who had escaped from the mental ward of the nearby hospital. The frightened man ran out the back door, into their arms. But for me, my nighttime whatifs had a new face -- a reason to be. Gone was my sense of wellbeing, my feeling of safety. My doors were locked all day. My husband could barely get into the house. I relived those moments again and again, chastened that I would run out the door and leave my two toddlers alone upstairs. What was I thinking? The reality was that I did the wisest thing. But what if....

In working through my fears, which took several years, I came to the realization that no one is safe. No king is saved by a mighty army. A horse is a vain hope of victory. I am powerless.

The rest of that chapter in Psalms was the answer to my fears:

"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

I began keeping a list of the promises of God, found in the Scriptures. I choose to put my faith in God's love and sovereignty.
(Photo by Jimee, Jackie, Tom & Asha, shared via Flickr)

Rerun Tuesdays

Posted by Terry McNichols

This was posted June 16, 2008, and we are rerunning it today for our new readers, in advance of tomorrow's post about some of my own fears.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

My Texas son blogged poignantly about an incident that happened in the middle of the night recently. Someone drove by their rural home and took a potshot at their house, breaking a large picture window and embedding a bullet in their laundry room door. They are justifiably freaked out, buying some black-out curtains to make their house less visible from the road at night, and wondering what they can do to ensure their safety and the safety of their daughter, whose room is very near where the bullet entered.

The fears related to keeping our children safe will strike a chord with every parent and grandparent. This incident brings back memories of my own night terrors and feelings of inadequacy about protecting my children. Just like Garp, in the following quote, I wish I could be granted the same vast and naïve wish:

If Garp could have been granted one vast and naïve wish, it would have been that he could make the world safe. For children and for grownups. The world struck Garp as unnecessarily perilous for both. – John Irving, The World According to Garp

My daughter-in-law wrote: "You try to protect your children by feeding them right and teaching them to look both ways and not using nasty chemicals and buying expensive carseats and really, it's not enough." I will write, one of these days, about how I calmed those fears for myself personally, but this is enough for today.

My birthday

Posted by Leona Bergstrom


Today I am celebrating my 57th birthday! I have always loved birthdays, and this year is no exception for me. My family has already thrown a party and given me some awesome gifts. I’m traveling the whole week of my birthday and can’t wait to enjoy the East Coast with my husband – including a Broadway play in New York City! I find this season of my life to be filled with new experiences, adventures and opportunities.

Several years ago a friend of mine sent me a birthday card that I have kept, treasured and shared. It encapsulates my hopes for this day!

Sometimes a birthday isn’t our favorite day.
We look in the mirror and wonder,
“Who is this older person who suddenly appeared?”
Funny how we never really noticed her before.
Welcome her.
She comes bearing gifts of perspective and wisdom.
She is your finest accomplishment
---So far!

(Photo by babymellowdee, shared via Flickr)

Happy Birthday Leona!

Posted by Terry McNichols


By my reckoning, if you are 57 years old today, we have known each other for at least 37 years. I count it a privilege to be related to you and look forward to growing old together. Hopefully, we'll hold each other accountable to live out all the things we have been writing about for making our "later years" happy and productive! You go girl!

" Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." C. S. Lewis

(Photo by Katch, shared via Flickr)

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Posted by Terry McNichols

Perhaps I am taking this gift a bit too seriously. It was given to my husband as a kind gesture, but I cannot help but find it blog worthy! Here we have a water bottle, originally stuffed with an emergency blanket, a poncho, a flashlight, an emergency whistle with compass, and a small ziplock bag. I am curious as to what type of disaster this small "emergency kit" would suffice. And what would I put in the ziplock?

I was immediately reminded of these verses from Psalm 33.

No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.

I have nothing against emergency preparedness -- don't get me wrong. I have a larger version of the picture in my storage shed, as I have heeded the 3-days, 3-ways commercials. But I don't put my trust in its sufficiency.

Addendum: I sent this blog to Leona to read before publishing it and she admitted that she had just bought a kit exactly like this from Eddie Bauer to keep in her car. Oh, dear, I've offended my own blog partner! Okay, I'll relent and keep this in my car. And hope that I don't ever need it! And here's the link for putting together your own disaster preparedness kit!

Missions after 50!

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Here's another example of people over 50 giving back in the area of missions.


Amy Hanson, PhD, writes:
"Bobbie Baxter always wanted to go on a mission trip but did not have the opportunity until she was 80 years old. When other retired women might be baking cookies or watching television, Bobbie joined the Second Half Ministries team from Northshore Baptist Church on a short-term mission trip to Nicaragua. She is not the only older adult who has invested her time and energy in the lives of these poverty stricken people. In fact 45–50 percent of all the volunteers from Northshore that do short-term mission work in Nicaragua are 50 years of age or older."
See the entire article here.

Diminishment - a guest post

Posted by Donna Vandergriend

“Diminishment” was the word that came to mind when I reached 65 along with that state of joblessness we call retirement. My significance seemed smaller; my sense of purpose waned. Our children, whom we raised to be independent (what were we thinking?) needed us less. The phone rang fewer times; the calendar squares showed white spaces. I feared my world was getting smaller; I feared God might be setting me aside; I feared being forgotten. “Honey, I’m shrinking,” I said to my husband. He teasingly got out the tape measure and discovered I was physically an inch shorter from settling vertebrae mixed with a little osteoporosis and arthritis.

This diminishing feeling can be downright depressing…unless we figure out how to reframe our definitions. “For when I am weak, then I am strong,” is a great concept for turning diminishment into a good thing. When I am surrendered and dependent, God can powerfully work. When I just sit there, God can expand my world by showing me what He is up to. When I get myself out of the way perhaps people can better see and find Him.

Yesterday I was recalling how long and complicated our job descriptions used to be: resumes and qualifications and goals and mission statements and references on pages and pages of parchment-like paper. Today I wrote a friend. “This is what I do these days: cook, clean, read, write, converse, pray, play, and encourage.” I liked the ring of that when I re-read it, the simplicity, the diminishment of complicated, on-demand living.

The clincher on rethinking my diminishment status, though, was when, during a time of prayer, I imagined God dialoguing with me and saying: “Remember how, during those busy, hectic years of doing, doing, doing, you used to pray, pretty desperately at times: ‘Lord, show me what it means to rest in the Lord?’ Well, here it is, the possibility of true and abundant rest. Stop whining and enjoy!”

(See Donna's prior guest post and our review of her book!)
(Photo by Korean Resource Center, shared via Flickr)