The Cyclone

Posted by Terry McNichols

Here's a quote on fear from the author of The Dance of Fear, one of my favorite authors, Harriet Lerner:

I grew up in Brooklyn, New York, not far from Coney Island. Whenever I visited the amusement park, I was both terrified and enticed by a ride called the Cyclone, a daunting, high-speed roller coaster. Over several summers, I watched kids about my age get on and off that ride. I stood by as an observer, amazed by their fearlessness.

One day, a particularly sweet-looking boy strapped himself into the first car. When the ride was over, I approached him, "How did you do it?" I asked bluntly. "How do you get over being afraid?"

"You don't get over it," he told me. "You just buy a ticket."

Remember to breath. Harriet Lerner, PhD, in article in July/August 2001 Psychotherapy Networker

(Photo by wallyg, shared via Flickr)

Do Not Fear - Chuck Swindoll

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Here is a list regarding fears from Chuck Swindoll. Read another article by him here.

Fears:
1. As they occur admit them.
2. As you admit them, commit them to God.
3. As you commit them, release them.
4. As you release them, resist them.
5. As you resist them, stand firm.

Fear - the beginning

Posted by Terry McNichols
I have put off my thread on fear, because I need to go back to the beginning. Well, it's not actually the beginning, I'm sure, but it was a turning point for me as an adult. We lived in a Navy town, next door to the hospital where my husband worked. I never locked my doors, trusting that I was protected, living in fact inside the fence at the Navy base, with a guard at every gate. How much safer could one get?

One day, about mid-morning, I was upstairs with my two toddlers, aged 3 and 1. I heard someone come in the back door and assumed it was my husband. I called out to him. No answer. I came down the stairs and found a man in pajamas in my living room. I recall thinking "Why are you jogging through my living room?" but I don't know if I actually said that or not. My immediate reaction was to turn and run out the front door, screaming and banging on the neighbor's door.

This story had a happy ending. Several Navy corpsmen appeared immediately, having been chasing the man who had escaped from the mental ward of the nearby hospital. The frightened man ran out the back door, into their arms. But for me, my nighttime whatifs had a new face -- a reason to be. Gone was my sense of wellbeing, my feeling of safety. My doors were locked all day. My husband could barely get into the house. I relived those moments again and again, chastened that I would run out the door and leave my two toddlers alone upstairs. What was I thinking? The reality was that I did the wisest thing. But what if....

In working through my fears, which took several years, I came to the realization that no one is safe. No king is saved by a mighty army. A horse is a vain hope of victory. I am powerless.

The rest of that chapter in Psalms was the answer to my fears:

"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

I began keeping a list of the promises of God, found in the Scriptures. I choose to put my faith in God's love and sovereignty.
(Photo by Jimee, Jackie, Tom & Asha, shared via Flickr)

Rerun Tuesdays

Posted by Terry McNichols

This was posted June 16, 2008, and we are rerunning it today for our new readers, in advance of tomorrow's post about some of my own fears.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

My Texas son blogged poignantly about an incident that happened in the middle of the night recently. Someone drove by their rural home and took a potshot at their house, breaking a large picture window and embedding a bullet in their laundry room door. They are justifiably freaked out, buying some black-out curtains to make their house less visible from the road at night, and wondering what they can do to ensure their safety and the safety of their daughter, whose room is very near where the bullet entered.

The fears related to keeping our children safe will strike a chord with every parent and grandparent. This incident brings back memories of my own night terrors and feelings of inadequacy about protecting my children. Just like Garp, in the following quote, I wish I could be granted the same vast and naïve wish:

If Garp could have been granted one vast and naïve wish, it would have been that he could make the world safe. For children and for grownups. The world struck Garp as unnecessarily perilous for both. – John Irving, The World According to Garp

My daughter-in-law wrote: "You try to protect your children by feeding them right and teaching them to look both ways and not using nasty chemicals and buying expensive carseats and really, it's not enough." I will write, one of these days, about how I calmed those fears for myself personally, but this is enough for today.

The Night Time What Ifs - Terry

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

My Texas son blogged poignantly about an incident that happened in the middle of the night recently. Someone drove by their rural home and took a potshot at their house, breaking a large picture window and embedding a bullet in their laundry room door. They are justifiably freaked out, buying some black-out curtains to make their house less visible from the road at night, and wondering what they can do to ensure their safety and the safety of their daughter, whose room is very near where the bullet entered.

The fears related to keeping our children safe will strike a chord with every parent and grandparent. This incident brings back memories of my own night terrors and feelings of inadequacy about protecting my children. Just like Garp, in the following quote, I wish I could be granted the same vast and naïve wish:

If Garp could have been granted one vast and naïve wish, it would have been that he could make the world safe. For children and for grownups. The world struck Garp as unnecessarily perilous for both. – John Irving, The World According to Garp

My daughter-in-law wrote: "You try to protect your children by feeding them right and teaching them to look both ways and not using nasty chemicals and buying expensive carseats and really, it's not enough." I will write, one of these days, about how I calmed those fears for myself personally, but this is enough for today.