A TREE OF LIFE...

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I have been working a lot lately on encouraging people to share their life stories. While that may seem like a daunting task, comparable to sorting a closetful of photographs, it really needn’t overwhelm one. The idea is simply that we intentionally share the stories of our lives with others as a window to our soul. Sharing one’s life stories gives meaning and significance to the teller as well as blesses the hearer.

If asked to share your life story, however, one hardly knows where to begin. I have a friend who sits down with a new acquaintance and says “Tell me your story. From birth to now.” Wow. For some of us, that’s a long conversation!

But what if we just took little sound bites? I’ve begun to ask people to tell me about a TREE in their life. Now, that might sound rather corny, but I’ll bet already you’ve thought of a tree story from somewhere in your life. Maybe it was a special tree you climbed as a child, or a tree you sat under with a friend and shared dreams, or perhaps you buried Rover under an oak tree on your farm. For me, I immediately think of the tree we called “The Old Brown Tree” that grew on the land right between my house and my grandma’s house. It was an old apple tree with limbs arranged in the manner of a castle. I spent endless hours entertaining imaginary friends in the drawing room and the formal dining room. I read books in the palatial bedroom....you get it.

So, If you want to just glimpse a tiny bit into one’s life and learn a whole lot about him/her — ask about a Tree. It’s a great beginning to unfolding the life story of someone you want to know.

(Photo by Jari Schroderus, shared via Flickr)

Rerun Wednesday -- My father's legacy

Posted by Terry McNichols
This rerun is poignant to me as my father is hoping to have surgery shortly to first check his heart and then repair the aneurysm. He is busy gathering up and packaging his nasturtium seeds, sending them to his children and grandchildren.

I wrote on Father's Day about my father's gardening prowess. Today I pulled all the nasturtiums up that I had planted, in spite of the fact that my father is now in town and will be visiting soon. I couldn't bear for him to see my dying pile of nasturtiums, covered in aphids, messy and forlorn. He will have to take my word for it, studying the pictures I produce to be sure they aren't last year's crop.
As I was about to toss the dead flowers, however, I couldn't help noticing the multitude of new seeds that I was about to discard. How could I throw them out, after all of the years of my father harvesting the seeds and packaging them into his hand-made seed packets? So I retrieved the dead flowers from the bin and painstakingly harvested the seeds for next year's crop.
My father is not well. He moves more slowly, gets tired more quickly, doesn't want to do much. I fear this may be his last visit to the Northwest. He has been recently diagnosed with an abdominal aneurysm -- a ticking time bomb his doctor said. He is in the process of waiting -- for antibiotics to take effect so that he can then make the decisions that he will need to make regarding his next options. We say goodbye, wondering if this is the last time we will see him.

I must handle the nasturtium seeds with great care. Sort them, dry them out, put them into little seed packets for future generations to plant.
(Photo from LightSpectral, shared by Flickr)

Tell your grandchild a story -- online!

Posted by Terry McNichols

This new offering by Grandparents.com called Story Teller is so much fun! I tested it by sending myself a message and it works flawlessly. Then I used it for its intended purpose and sent a story to my grandkids about our recent trip to El Salvador! Give it a try. What a neat idea! And the story or message that you record can be downloaded to a computer and played again and again. This is just another way to keep in touch over the miles.

On the topic of keeping in touch, I have also been experimenting with a granny cam (this needs a new name as it usually refers to a hidden camera keeping track of the elderly in nursing homes!) and Skype, the online free long distance service. Or a small investment of $26, you can buy a simple webcam and keep up across the miles.

Welcome Home, Jr.!

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Terry and I just have to use our blog to share our ecstatic excitement regarding the return of Ken Griffey, Jr. to the Seattle Mariners! Our emotions have been on a roller coaster this week as we watched Griffey’s commitment to us, his loyal fans, waver. It felt like junior high when you picked petals off of a daisy, wondering - “He loves me? He loves me not?”

But, yes, “he loves us” and is returning to a stadium and city needing some good news!

So many reasons to be happy:

1. The Mariners were, well, less than exciting last season. In fact, I quit watching them mid-season. (Note: Terry remained loyal throughout...)

2. Starbucks, Boeing, Microsoft, and thousands of other businesses are laying off employees left and right. Our house value is plummeting. The bad economy has finally affected Seattle. At least we can watch the Mariners – and Ken Griffey, Jr.-- on TV for free.

3. We remember the good old days of Griffey hitting home runs and catching unbelievable fly balls. He was our hero. We have his bobble-head and baseball cards in our collections.

4. Our grandkids are going to get to meet the Legend.


There are many other reasons to rejoice. You can read them in the Seattle Times. Some say Griffey is too old – age 39. Shoot, I’ve been 39 for years. It’s a great age.

So welcome back, Kid. Here’s two “old gals” happy to see you in a Mariners uniform.
Let’s play ball!

Here's a rundown of our favorite moments, from the Seattle Times:

Oct. 8, 1995

Sliding into home on Edgar Martinez's double to beat the Yankees in the 1995 AL Division Series.

Sept. 14, 1990

Following father Ken Griffey Sr.'s first-inning homer with one of his own against the Angels' Kirk McCaskill.

July 28, 1993

Belting a home run for the eighth consecutive game, against the Twins, tying the major-league record.

May 26, 1995

Leaping into the Kingdome's right-center wall to make a catch, shattering his wrist, later returning to help fuel miracle playoff run.

June 22, 2007

Getting a 10-minute ovation at Safeco Field as a Cincinnati Red in his first game back in Seattle since the 2000 trade.

(Photos by tonysti and Shutter Daddy, shared via Flickr)

Rerun Wednesday - On being boring...

Posted by Terry McNichols

If you ask me 'What's new?', I have nothing to say

Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold but it's better today.
I'm content with the way things are going.
Yes, he is the same as he usually is,
Still eating and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring.

There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears and passion - I've used up a tankful.
No news is good news, and long may it last.
If nothing much happens, I'm thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you're after excitement, steer well clear of me.
I want to go on being boring.

I don't go to parties. Well, what are they for,
If you don't need to find a new lover?
You drink and you listen and drink a bit more
And you take the next day to recover.
Someone to stay home with was all my desire
And, now that I've found a safe mooring,
I've just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.

"Being Boring," by Wendy Cope from If I Don't Know (Faber and Faber)

GPS for relationships

Posted by Terry McNichols

In a Bringing Baby Home workshop I teach for couples with new babies, I use an example from my own marriage. For many years my husband and I fought the same nasty fight, over and over again. The issue was how we navigated during times of extreme travel stress. My husband would usually drive and I would try to navigate. I was not good at my part of the job, and he also had his flaws, so we would deteriorate into chaos during those intense times. I refused to be a blind follower and he desperately wanted me to trust that he knew what he was doing or where we were going. Around and around we would go, getting nowhere.

In the workshop, I teach skills in conflict regulation and we look at two concentric circles of compromise, where one puts the areas where no yielding is possible in the center circle and the areas where compromise might be possible in the outer circle. I give the solutions that my husband and I eventually reached as an example of how we finally reached compromises that allowed us to travel together in peace and actually enjoy ourselves, even in foreign countries, lost and driving on the left-hand side of the road!

But recently I have had to revise my story, because we purchased a GPS. This handy device has been an amazing boon to our marital happiness and we have found the other compromise solutions completely outdated as we now both trust Gertrude, our bossy voice from the GPS, to lead us to our desired destination.

As I was explaining the use of a GPS to solve this particular problem, one person in my workshop suggested that it would certainly be wonderful if there were a GPS for all similarly entrenched marital difficulties! I wholeheartedly agreed. I could be a wealthy woman if I could just invent such a device. In the meantime, we can work on learning to regulate conflict, without the help of technology! John Gottman, University of Washington researcher who developed Bringing Baby Home has some great books on the topic!

And here's a link to my current favorite GPS system, in case I've convinced you that you need one for the sake of your marriage!
(Photo by Dean Terry, shared via Flickr)

Disney World...

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

(Leona and her husband are attending a pastors' conference, based at the Disney World Resort and Conference Center.)

Today I spent my fourth day in Disney World. What a place. Acres and acres of land filled with every kind of fanciful attraction, thrill ride, fantasy experience and shopping extravaganza.

We are staying in one of the dozens of Disney World resorts. We take Disney World busses to other resorts and attractions. We have not set our foot on any land other than Disney's. While it feels like we live in a little bubble, it is our reality.

We are always touching plants and trees to see if they are real. Some of them are. The rock formations seldom are real, and never, never in this land are pirates, clown fish or long-eared dogs real. They are characters - something pretending to be something it isn't.

Everything is delightfully pretend here. Your imagination goes wild. We are truly in Disney's world.

But today, it dawned on me, that while it appears perfect, Disney's world is that. Disney's. While it is magnificent, it is fake, pretend, imagined - a finite display of man's creativity. It became strikingly clear to me how majestic, magnificent and profound it is to actually live in GOD'S world! The Creator has indeed fashioned real mountains, forests, trees, animals, birds -- and man and woman.

Our pastor is currently preaching through Genesis. Today I think I caught a glimpse in my own understanding of how awesome our Creator really is, and how valuable His creation.
(Photo by Raymond Brown, shared via Flickr)

On giving up my rollerblades - the sequel

Posted by Terry McNichols

This post is a rerun, but I will preface it by saying that I haven't yet actually gotten rid of the rollerblades. In spite of this July post, I have had a difficult time with letting go of this tangible proof that I am not an old lady! The rollerblades still take up space in my tiny attic, waiting for me to finally make a decision. I'm afraid that my resolve to get rid of the "stuff" in my life is not as strong as the need to hold on to this semblance of youth and virility. Maybe when the crocuses bloom and the promise of spring impels me to clean out my attic.... Anyone out there looking for a very slightly used pair of great rollerblades? 8-1/2 to 9, complete with knee and elbow pads!

As I recover from my knee surgery (all my resolve wasn't enough to heal meniscus tears on both sides of my knee), I have come to a sad conclusion. It is time to sell my rollerblades. I bought these fancy skates, and all the trimmings, when Ken was working in Duluth, Minnesota, and I needed to find a way to fill my days. I walked along the downtown waterfront trail in Duluth watching all the rollerbladers and I knew that I could do it. I had been an accomplished roller skater in the days of my youth, spending an entire summer camped near a roller rink in Montana, skating every night. The roller skating rink was considered an "in" place to be in those days. I had no worries about my ability to skate. Stopping was another matter, and I practiced my stops before I got very brave on the skates. But I was right -- it all came back to me and I loved skating.

Shortly after our return to life and work as we now know it, I was skating around the local lake. But at just about that time, an acquaintance about my age was mowed down by young kids while skating around that same lake. She had major injuries and a long recovery. I put my skates up on the shelf for awhile, just to think about it. In a nutshell, I got cold feet!

I realize that many people over the age of 60 are still very active in the sports of their youth, but what happened for me is that I couldn't help but weigh the costs. Skating was fun, but I wasn't really all that stable on the skates, and the threat of major trauma scared me a lot. It wasn't the pain or the recovery that worried me, but the possibility that I would not fully recover and give up some of the things that I hope to do for many more years -- like walk! I have not totally given up all activities -- I still bike in spite of a fall a couple of years ago that was quite nasty. Some things still feel worth the risk.

But I think the skates have got to go. Four months of not being able to take my beloved exercise walks have been hard on me, and hard on my exercise partner, Ken! We both are feeling lethargic and out of shape. We still have a lot of travel we'd like to do, and these things must all be weighed. I've kept the skates tucked away in a corner of our attic, just waiting.... It's time. This is one of the necessary losses of my own aging journey.

Lord willing and the creek don't rise....

Posted by Terry McNichols

Just a couple of days before we left for El Salvador, I was asked if the earthquake in Costa Rica would impact our travel. I made the comment that we would carry on, "Lord willing and the creek don't rise!" This was a new saying to my listening friend, and I started thinking about where I picked it up. I learned this statement about God's sovereignty from my mother, who surely heard her own mother and grandmother all use the expression. And now I find that it slides past the weak filter in my conscious mind and pops out quite often.

I did a Google search to try to find the source of this expression and was surprised to learn that there is a bit of controversy as to its origin. Some seem to think that the reference to "Creek," which is often capitalized, is a reference to Indians who might "rise" and attack. Others claim that the expression often used the word "crick" or "river," thus negating the possibility of a reference to Indians.

Whatever the source, I was particularly surprised and tickled to find a song by that title on my recently purchased Dave Irish CD. Dave must have also had a godly mother or grandmother in his past. Now I have a tune running through my head whenever I think of the expression.

But the truth? We are not in control and no matter how much we try to order our lives, the creek may indeed rise (as it did so dramatically in Western Washington in January). And the Lord must be willing. I may make profound statements of purpose, but there is a fragility in my own intricate plotting. I intend to carry on with the plans at hand, "Lord willing and the creek don't rise!"
(Photos by McBeth and Leo Reynolds, shared via Flickr)

Welcome Baby Bergstrom

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

How can such a tiny presence make such a difference?

Today we went to meet our newborn grandson. I was feeling overwhelmed by my own chaotic rush to get there through heavy traffic with his 2-year old big brother. My "oh so critical" to-do list was dangling in my brain with haunting incompletion.

Bapa, Nani and Big Bro charged into the hospital room. More chaos.
Helium balloons bouncing off our faces, tired and excited parents
trying to make introductions, an oh-so-curious toddler, cameras that
weren't cooperating or capturing the first sibling encounter, and
nurses ordering us to vacate the room and remove the bags, belongings, and half-eaten salami. We began moving the whole entourage. I felt pressed in from all sides.

And then...there he was! A tiny little person bundled in the familiar
swaddling blanket. Tiny tightened eyelids and a round head that only partly fills the Swedish Hospital baby cap.

Nothing else mattered. I just wanted to stare at him and absorb the serenity, tranquility, blessing and hope of the moment.

Perfect.
Precious.
Peaceful.
Tiny baby boy with a big strong name to fill.
God's gift.
God's grace.
Son of my son.

Graham Charles Bergstrom.
8 pounds 6 ounces
21 3/4 inches long

Welcome! Oh, welcome Graham, into our family and into our world!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

This week my parents-in-law (Terry’s parents) celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary. Wow. That is remarkable. So few people mark such a milestone that Hallmark (or whoever it is that assigns such things) hasn’t identified a symbol, flower or stone to the 65th year. Everything over 60 is just “diamond.” Well, I would like to come up with my own symbols in honor of Ruth and Rudy.

Symbol: A strand of three cords.
As described in Ecclesiastes 4:12, Ruth and Rudy have lives that are interwoven with each other but supported and reinforced by God, the third strand. Their faith in their Savior has never wavered, no matter the season, the difficulty, or the joy.

Flower: Nasturtium.
What other flower would best symbolize Ruth and Rudy? Not only has Rudy nurtured them and watched them grow all around him, he has harvested millions of seeds and sent them all over the country. This fast growing, indomitable, beautiful flower reflects Ruth and Rudy’s impact on thousands of lives. Not only did they raise five incredible children, they've welcomed grandchildren, great grandchildren, and recently celebrated the birth of a great-great grandchild! They have always shared spirited love and extraordinary compassion with family, friends, neighbors, pastors, missionaries, and hundreds of strangers they have met in RV parks and McDonalds.

Stone: Diamond
OK, I’ll go with Hallmark on this one. The marriage of Ruth and Rudy is strong, invincible and scratch –resistant, just like a diamond. Through the years of joy and pain, new facets and new sparkles have emerged. On the surface you see the bright glow radiated by a long life of love. But the individual facets reflect an unconquerable sense of adventure, invincible work ethic and unshakable faith.

Happy Anniversary to my “other” parents. You have modeled for your son and me what it means to persevere in love. I hope we get to celebrate 65 years of marriage. Maybe by then Hallmark will come up with their own set of symbols for such an extraordinary milestone!

Rerun Wednesday - Found in Oprah's Magazine

Posted by Terry McNichols

Note to self: older is happier

“Though we as a society extol the years of early adulthood, research studies have demonstrated that younger adults are not as happy as adults in their older years. In the years of later, relatively healthy adulthood (ages 50-75), the horizon of time has shifted and the outlines of a person’s story have become much clearer. The future tense is greatly diminished in importance, and it is the present tense – the possibilities for pleasure, connectedness, and a sense of emotional embeddedness – that emerges into prominence…. Developmentally speaking, older adults tend to live in the moment, and this appears to increase their satisfaction and well-being.”
Maggie Scarf in September Songs: The Bonus Years of Marriage (Riverhead)

THIS is good news. And it does make sense. The key here, I am afraid, is the phrase "relatively healthy adulthood." Things get tougher when you aren't "relatively healthy," but still we need to take this to heart, and learn how to live in the moment!

(Photo by dictybloke, Flickr)

Trickle down poverty

Posted by Terry McNichols

On my recent trip to El Salvador, I was struck by the trickle-down effect that the economic crisis in the United States is having on poorer countries. Our consumption-driven lives over the past years of a bullish economy have given the poorer countries a false sense of security. Our willingness to spend money, rather than save and be prudent, has given work to the poorer economies. They have built factories to supply our extravagant desires. I remember seeing a shirt at REI that I considered purchasing for my first trip to El Salvador. It was just what I wanted for keeping cool in the very hot climate and for protecting myself from the blazing sun. However, when I looked at the $45 price tag and noticed that it was "hecho en El Salvador," I couldn't bring myself to buy it. Don't get me wrong. I still bought a similar shirt for the trip, I just made sure it was made in China! Certainly this was misplaced angst, but somehow it bothered me to wear my expensive locally-made shirt to visit the poor.

I was aware that several family members of our villagers were working in the United States and sending remesas (remittances) back to El Salvador to support their families. These families have been using this money to pay off their land loan. On this visit, however, we were struck by the worries that those families now have, as their loved ones can no longer find work and can no longer send the money. In addition, those loved ones cannot afford the pricey plane ticket to return to the village. They are stuck in limbo, here in the U.S. Last week's Seattle Times has an article discussing the impact of this problem on Mexico, as well as throughout the world. Remesas comprise 14% of the Gross Domestic Product of El Salvador and this is considered a very large percentage. Mexico's percentage is below 4%, yet still there is a huge impact. However, the same article cites Moldova, the poorest country in Europe, as having 40% of their GDP based on remittances. There is a mass exodus of guest workers throughout Europe, as well as the United States, finding their way back home, where there are even fewer jobs.

Once again, I quote Margaret Mead, from last week's post, and hope that I have indeed grown wiser and more able to scrutinize my own culture.

As the traveler who has once been from home is wiser than he who has never left his own doorstep, so a knowledge of one other culture should sharpen our ability to scrutinize more steadily, to appreciate more lovingly, our own. --Margaret Mead, anthropologist (1901-1978)