Happy New Year

Posted by Terry McNichols

We travelers, walking toward the sun, can't see
Ahead, but looking back the very light
That blinded us shows us the way we came,
Along which blessing now appear, risen
As if from sightlessness to sight, and we,
By blessing brightly lit, keep going toward
That blessed light that yet to us is dark.

Wendell Berry

"Given: Poems"

(Photo by madmoiselle lavender, shared via Flickr)

BENJAMIN WARD TOWNE

July 17, 2005 - December 30, 2008

The Day After: Boxing Day!

Posted by Leona Bergstrom


There are several theories about what “boxing day” is – from being a day to clear out the boxes left from Christmas celebrations, to filling them up with decorations and holiday goods and putting it all away. Seldom acknowledged in the U.S, it is a statutory holiday in England, Canada, New Zealand and Australia. It was interesting to me to learn that the day actually is in commemoration of the Christian martyr, St. Stephen.

It was on this day that the less fortunate received gifts of money and material goods, without being expected to reciprocate. While it was useful in perpetuating the class lines of British medieval times, the idea is an intriguing one. What if we were to give to the less fortunate in even more abundance AFTER Christmas as we were prone to do before? What if we filled food banks to overflowing in January? What if we continued the spirit of Christmas throughout the year – in radical fashion? What if we were to continue to give to those in need, with complete abandon, without reciprocation, and with the message that the Christ child came to “bring good news to the afflicted?” (Isaiah 61)

During these tough economic times I’m reminded that giving to the less fortunate is even more important than ever. Boxing Day takes on new meaning.

(photo by nataliej, shared via Flickr)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from Terry & Leona!
May your day be filled with joy, peace and an abundance of GRACE.
This rendition of O Holy Night says it all.

Christmas wallowing....

Posted by Terry McNichols

I recently invited some family members to join us for our Christmas festivities. I recounted a story that seems meaningful to me at the moment.

When I was in college, I had a relationship with a young man who invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I was far from home and was happy for the invitation and really didn't expect that it was a formal proposal of marriage or similar long-term commitment, but apparently the thought of taking me home "meet the family" had a lot more weight for him than for me. The night before our Thanksgiving Day "date," he unceremoniously dumped me. I remember the pain to this day.

But what I did at that juncture was to try to wallow in the pain of the moment. I decided that I would walk to Taco Bell and eat my Thanksgiving dinner all by myself -- a dinner of tacos and salsa, and whatever other non-traditional fare I could muster. I wanted to deeply wallow in my grief and pain and set up a story to tell for generations to come.

Unfortunately for me, however, a friend from my hometown spotted me walking the lonely road from my campus to town and would not have it that I should spend Thanksgiving alone. She and her family insisted that I join them and took me to a very fancy restaurant where we had a traditional meal, paid for by her generous parents. I can barely remember her name, although she was a fine friend, and I have never forgotten that kindness.

But my point? Don't be alone on Christmas. Find a place to fit in and embrace it with abandon. Swallow your pride and take the leap. Find someone who is also alone and get together. Or find a need and fill it. But don't wallow in the self pity of aloneness and holiday sorrow. Pick up that girl walking along the road, on her way to Taco Bell, and offer her a meal.

(Photo by Thomas Hawk, shared via Flickr)

The Christmas Creche

Posted by Terry McNichols

One of my regrets in life is that my husband and I simply did not manage to have a lot of traditions in our home that carried on from year to year. I’m not exactly sure why this happened, but we just didn’t seem to have very many traditions that stuck. We tried getting our Christmas tree together a few times, had birthday parties for Jesus, opened presents at night, in the morning, collected ornaments -- some years! In fact, when I recently asked my daughter what we should have to eat on Christmas Eve, she stated that our family “tradition” was to have something different every year. That’s one way of reframing it!

One thing we did have, however, was a Christmas crèche. When Ken & I were first married, we bought a complete crèche scene and painstakingly painted and antiqued every piece. We still have all the pieces, minus one chip out of the donkey’s ear, knocked off the shelf by the family cat. We never did find that missing ear and finally decided that the crèche was just perfect without it!

As our children grew, however, the crèche took on “other” meanings during the Christmas season. Our kids had a lot of fun changing the scene. One year the shepherds and wise men formed a rock band, complete with little guitars and drums. Another year, Sylvester the Cat would show up in the scene. Or various animals would roam the stage. Or the smurfs. Or whatever action figures happened to be in vogue at the time. Our kids recreated life, mostly in fun.

But one year, as we were waiting to have our Christmas eve dinner, we got a phone call from our middle son. He had pulled out into oncoming traffic, driving my car, and been hit by a car he hadn’t seen coming. He and his girlfriend were fine, but shaken up, and we interrupted our planned events to go and sort things out.

When we returned home, the crèche had mysteriously morphed into a new scene, complete with a wrecked toy car with shepherds and wise men all looking on with concern. Joseph was on the phone, Mary was sitting at the dinner table waiting for the family. And above it all, the angel hovered, having done her job, keeping everyone safe.

Today the crèche sits, undisturbed by the hands of children, awaiting the next generation’s take on the meaning of Christmas. And, after a half hour search in my completely disorganized photo storage system, I found the picture! If you look closely, you can even see the missing donkey ear.

Pondering

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

“And Mary treasured up all of these things, pondering them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

I love the word “ponder.” One of its definitions is “to wonder about.” While I prefer to think that Mary sat in a non-anxious presence and just thought about the chaotic events going on around her, it is probably more likely that she truly “wondered” about them. I can’t imagine all the ways her life changed after that little visit from Gabriel and the encounter with the Holy Spirit. Her words, “How can this be?” must have echoed a doubt laced with rationality, faith mixed with fear.

I take great comfort in pondering. I love to think, brood, analyze. Or, as my dad would have put it, “stew” over things. But at Christmas, I also “wonder.” The story seems so unusual, so fanciful, so unlikely! The world around me is so chaotic that it is hard to believe that a tiny child in a manger could actually bring peace.

But Mary was there. And the things that she saw and experienced confirmed for her that a big God was in control of the whole story. “For the Mighty One has done great things for me; and holy is His name,” Mary said to her cousin Elizabeth. And then she sang of the powerful, wondrous things God has done and will do because He is the author of the story. (Luke 1:46-55)

It’s all worth treasuring and pondering.

(Photo by Jun Acullador, shared via Flickr)

Lessons from my washing machine

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I learned something from my washing machine today: Don’t overload.

Now for someone who has been a “Household Executive” for 36 years and has probably done at least 7,488 loads of laundry (maybe more!), you would think that I would have the technique down. But no. I get impatient and I have very high expectations for my washing machine.

My tendency to stuff the machine with as much as I could possibly put in accelerated when I moved into a new house with a washer marked “Super High Capacity.” Wow. The possibility existed for washing every towel in the house at one time. I crammed and jammed for months. Then last week a faint aroma of burning rubber tickled my nostrils. With every load the smell became more intense. I finally called a repairman.

Yep. Motor burning out. Too much stuff. OVERLOAD.

I’m finding the same to be true in my life. At my age, I have a lot of experience, education and insight upon which to draw. I feel that I’ve finally reached “Super High Capacity.” So, I’m cramming and jamming all kinds of things into my day to be sure I live life with purpose, vision, vitality and productivity. I’m having the time of my life doing the things I believe I’m called to do. But this morning, I sensed a faint aroma of burning rubber.....

I’ve quit overloading the washing machine. I put in less clothes and more water, and "voila" the machine spins and splashes and even agitates with freedom. No more burning smell, although the repairman told me it was a matter of time before the little motor gives up completely.

I just know there’s a lesson in there somewhere.
(Photo by 4T9R)

Dad's phone

Posted by Terry McNichols

One of the great difficulties at this stage of my life journey is to watch my parents age. My siblings and I were concerned about my parents making a very long drive without a cell phone. So we banded together and hurried to make sure they had one before their trip. My father called me crestfallen to tell me that as he was packing up his car, he dropped the phone on the pavement and now it wouldn't work. I too was disappointed and discouraged as it was impossible to troubleshoot the problem by long distance.

I received the phone in the mail a few days later, expecting to return it to my local phone store. I opened the package and turned on the phone and voila, it worked just fine. I decided a miracle for which I had prayed had indeed come to pass. The truth of the matter is much more down to earth, however. My dad dropped the phone on the pavement and the screen went blank. He reinstalled the battery, and was devastated that it didn’t work. When I called him tonight to tell him that it was now working, I told him I thought the problem was that the button you use to turn the phone on needs to be held down a very long time before the phone comes on. His response? “I didn’t even try to turn it on. I thought it was always on.” I didn’t know if he’d feel better or worse, knowing the only thing wrong with the phone was that no one tried to turn it on.

In my dad’s defense, the phone system isn’t intuitive, with a red button for turning on and a green button for sending calls. I had told him to leave the phone on all the time. He had turned it on in the very beginning, but had forgotten. So today I sent the phone back to him and we’ll try again.

It is not only the elderly who have trouble with their cell phones. Many of us are technologically challenged. It is embarrassing to have the younger generation so far ahead of us in such matters. But my challenge to myself is to keep up for as long as possible!
(photos by JonJon2k8 and wka, shared via Flickr)

Addendum: My father is now very adept at using his cell phone. He sits on the patio at his Arizona condo and calls his children when he is lonely or bored. The cell phone that at first proved so challenging, is now a major lifeline, connecting him in a way that wasn't possible years earlier.

Give yourself time!

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

During the holiday season I have noticed that sometimes I forget to breathe. I realize it when I suddenly become nearly faint from lack of oxygen and my jaw is frozen in a teeth-clenching stronghold. Today I found this word of advice tucked in one of my overstuffed files. It’s a great reminder.

The holidays can seem overwhelming if you miss the gift they promise.
The holidays offer a rebirth of spirit at the coldest season of the year, the winter before the spring.
You are asked to see and hear the beauty all around, the love within. It is time to move closer to one another, generate warmth, celebrate life.
There is only one thing that can stop the Holiday spirit: The speed at which you travel through the season.
The music is there if you take the time to listen.
The spirit is there if you take the time to let it touch your heart.
The beauty is there if you give yourself time to see.
The commercialization is an injection of speed that you can bypass.
Walk slower, feel more, do less. You can have the spirit for nothing more than your time.
Give yourself time for the holidays.

--Author unknown
(Photo by Leo Reynolds, shared via Flickr)

Rerun Wednesdays

Posted by Terry McNichols

Crossword Puzzles (this proved to be a very popular post, worth rerunning!)

I must admit to an addiction. I love doing crossword puzzles. If I miss a day, I cut out the puzzle from our local paper and keep it, in hopes of having time later to catch up. Now that our paper runs 2 different crosswords, I fall quickly behind. I save up unused crosswords and do them on airplanes. I can’t bear to throw one away unfinished.

I must also admit to being highly competitive. When I first started doing crosswords, it was after losing a 3-way race between my mother-in-law, my husband, and myself. My 83-year-old mother-in-law can still whip me royally, but my husband and I have equalized considerably. We both sit down to do the day’s crossword, saying, “We’re NOT racing!” But the first one finished still makes a very loud announcement. After much practice, I now win more than I lose! (Sorry, Ken, but it’s true!)

In checking the internet to write this piece, I came upon numerous sites discussing the benefits of playing games to keep your mind active. Here’s an excerpt from a site that provides an online crossword and sudoku puzzle, called “Mental Floss for the Brain.”

Engaging in leisure activities that stimulate your brain may help you lead a longer, healthier life. These activities can even help prevent disorders like dementia, including Alzheimer's disease.
• Do Crossword puzzles
• Play Scrabble
• Play chess, checkers, cards or bingo
• Memorize a vocabulary word daily. Make a point of using the daily word in your conversation. One fun way to do this is to subscribe to the word of the day service, provided by dictionary.com for free, in which a vocabulary word is sent to your email
every day.
• Participate in some other mentally challenging games to sharpen your wits.

A recent study showed that elderly people who did crossword puzzles four times a week or more had a markedly (47 percent) decreased risk of dementia than those who did these puzzles once a week or less.

The internet is a wealth of resources for fueling the crossword addiction! Check out www.oneacross.com if you get stuck on an answer!

I feel entirely justified in my addiction!

(Photo by incurable_hippie, Flickr)

We're all in a recession....

Posted by Terry McNichols

There are a lot of definitions of the word "recession." I intended to catch your attention since all the talk nonstop is about the recession we are now in. But this is a different kind of recession. One of the dictionary definitions of the word is "the act of withdrawing or going back."

Perhaps that definition doesn't define exactly what we are doing, but Leona and I have decided that, after 170 daily posts, we need to recede just a little bit. Several people told us we couldn't keep up the heady pace of every day wit and wisdom, but we have made a serious attempt to do so. With the Christmas season upon us and with both of us with our fingers in oh-so-many pies, we have decided on fewer posts.

Starting today, I will be posting every Monday, we will have a rerun of a past post on Wednesday, and Leona will be posting on Friday. We hope that by doing so we will not spiral downward into drivel, but manage to keep our posts interesting and keep you as a reader.

To be sure that you don't lose track of our posts, or miss the occasional "extra" post, consider signing up to have our blog delivered to your email or subscribe and receive the blog in whatever reader you choose to use. We may surprise you with extra pertinent posts as we are inspired, but you can at least know when we plan to post.

This may be just a temporary recession -- or it could deepen into a true depression if we indeed lose our readers! Please don't let that happen. We are enjoying the process and appreciate you as our groupies!

(Photo by wockerjabby, shared via Flickr)

How You Live Your Life Today...

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I was interested to read in this week’s Seattle Times that Dr. K. Warner Schaei, an 80 year old “retired” professor from Penn State University is moving back to Seattle. He has been a student and teacher of gerontology for over 50 years and has conducted one of the most extensive and lasting psychological research studies on how people develop and change cognitively as they age. His longitudinal study, based in Seattle, has spanned 50 years and included three generations. The Seattle Times states “Information from this study has helped change mandatory-retirement law and combat phrases like ‘having a senior moment’ and other examples of ageism. (I’ll comment on my disgust with that phrase at another time....)

One of Dr. Schaei’s statements confirms something we’ve all contemplated: “How you live your life makes a difference as to how you will move into old age. You don’t suddenly become a member of a different species when you grow old. It’s clear that a person who is quick-minded and not rigid in his thinking has an advantage. Things change, but if you’re a good problem solver or successfully handled a personal crisis when you were younger, you will likely continue to do so.”(Photo by peamasher, shared via Flickr)

Fear

Posted by Terry McNichols

I never wanted to start clubbing my car. I thought it was a bit excessive. Then one day I came out and my red Jeep was gone. I immediately called the police and they looked on their log and told me it hadn't actually been stolen. I'd been towed! I parked less than 5 feet from a driveway and that's a tow-able offense if you live in the city!

A few months later, I again couldn't find my Jeep. So I called the police and told them to find out where I'd been towed. Alas, no sign of my Jeep. This time it had indeed been stolen. From right in front of our home! The car was gone for three weeks, finally found in a grocery store parking lot with a new dent on the side, a screwdriver in the starter, someone's jeans, garbage, food stuffs left in the car. The thief wasn't caught and after the insurance company wrote off the car as totalled, they sold it back to me for $400! It's still in use by my daughter and her family, living out its 17th year.

But my point? I began to believe that it was worth the trouble to club my car. The hassles involved in having a car stolen, not to mention the fact that it was trashed, tend to make me more careful, more worried about the possibilities, a little less secure in the world. It's that "fear" thing again, but it's also just the wisdom of experience!
(Photo by bartmaguire, shared via Flickr)

Ma’am, Can You Spare a . . . what?? The Economy is Worse than I Thought

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I was in a hurry trying to get out of Walgreens when I was approached by a young, cleanly dressed, pleasant young man. He asked me if I could help him out. He said he was homeless, had no job, and really needed something to eat.

This is not an unusual plea during these days of economic disaster. However, I am usually hesitant to respond to panhandlers in parking lots. “But,” I thought to myself, “this is a tough time for people, this guy is hungry, I want to be full of mercy and compassion. I have $1.32 change right on top of my purse left from my recent purchase. What would it hurt to give that to this young man who seems to need a meal?”

That’s when I heard something I haven’t heard before. Not, “Ma’am could you spare some change or a dollar? “ No, this guy asked me for a $5 or $10 bill! Wow. Inflation hits everyone, I guess.

I can’t believe what I did next. I asked him to wait and I went to my car, closed the door, dug deeper in my purse and got a FIVE dollar bill and gave it to him! I guess “the big ask” works!

What did I learn?

* I should probably listen to my instincts when I feel that this is not someone I should give money to. He immediately went over, gave some other guy the money and got a cigarette in exchange. I guess it was a cigarette. He smoked it anyway.
* It doesn’t do much good to make a guy PROMISE that he’ll go buy food. He had different plans for the money.
* I shouldn’t be afraid to say no, but I should listen to my heart’s cry to help others and give the money to organizations that can really provide the right assistance to those in need.
* I’m only responsible for my actions (full of mercy and kindness...) not his.

And finally, a little change isn’t going to buy a meal for a hungry person anymore. I’m going to need to dig deeper in order to help others during these times.

Rerun Tuesdays - The Thing in Front of You

I recently heard a sermon that referenced the words of Mother Teresa: "Do the thing that is in front of you." In searching for the context of that quote, I came across the following, quoted from World Bank website:

In his keynote address, Tony Hall, former U.S. Congressman, Ambassador to the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) in Rome, Nobel Peace Prize nominee, and author of the book Changing the Face of Hunger, challenged the audience to put into action the words of Mother Teresa, "Do the thing in front of you," and to never forget that one person can truly make a difference. "Before trying to change things on a large scale, find something that you know that you can do something about. It just takes an idea, one or two people, and not a lot of money to do something that can change the world."

Look here for an excellent review of Changing the Face of Hunger, that tells the context in which this was said to Tony Hall. I have been challenged to not only look at what I can do in the face of world hunger and poverty, but also to be alert for the "thing in front of me."

Happiness...

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

This was sent to me by a friend:

A 92- year old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.

That doesn't have anything to do with it, he replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged . . . it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.

It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.
5. Expect less

Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.