Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Rerun Tuesdays
The following post is a rerun! We have many faithful readers who have been with us since we started this blog, 100 posts ago! "Rerun Tuesdays" will hopefully allow some of our new readers to catch up on our older posts. Often we will use the rerun to generate Wednesday's blog along the same lines. And we will continue to link back to earlier posts! If you're new, please read our welcome post so you know what we're about.
Rerun Tuesdays - Ascent and Descent
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
Kathleen Fischer, a theology instructor at Seattle University, a Catholic thinker, writer, counselor and spiritual coach, wrote a beautiful book entitled Winter Grace. I believe she captures this grace and gravity polarity beautifully. Allow me to quote a few paragraphs:
The work of midlife is learning to balance gravity and grace. To find a deep spiritual meaning in aging, in shedding the cocoon of youth and flying free in maturity and beauty.
Kathleen Fischer, a theology instructor at Seattle University, a Catholic thinker, writer, counselor and spiritual coach, wrote a beautiful book entitled Winter Grace. I believe she captures this grace and gravity polarity beautifully. Allow me to quote a few paragraphs:
"We cannot learn to understand aging if we undervalue or overvalue its realities, or if we simply try to make it appear as much like midlife or youth as possible. The fact is that aging is BOTH descent and ascent, both loss and gain. This is true of growth at every stage of the life cycle: childhood, adolescence, midlife and old age. Time is both life and death. Change encompasses both emerging and perishing. At every point in the human journey we find that we have to let go in order to move forward; and letting go means dying a little. In the process we are being created anew, awakened afresh to the source of our being. Aging is a paradox, the unity of apparent contradictions. Jesus challenges his followers with this paradox when he says, ‘For anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it.' (Mt. 16:25). Emptiness can somehow be fullness, weakness can be strength, and dying can lead to new life. A spirituality of aging must help us find a way to turn losses into gains, to learn how the stripping process which often accompanies aging can be a gradual entrance into freedom and new life, and how, in fact, aging can be winter grace."
-Kathleen Fisher, Winter Grace, Upper Room Books, 1998, Page 8
The work of midlife is learning to balance gravity and grace. To find a deep spiritual meaning in aging, in shedding the cocoon of youth and flying free in maturity and beauty.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Yup, I'm amazed!
Posted by Terry McNichols
I wrote this post from the Gaylord Opryland Hotel, Nashville, Tennessee, whose website boasts that "you'll be amazed at the nine acres of indoor gardens, cascading waterfalls and an indoor river with its own Delta flatboat. Within this lush landscape, you'll discover fine dining and casual restaurants, unique shopping experiences, and a 20,000-square-foot resort spa and fitness center."
It is really too bad that my stay had to follow the
blog post on poverty in the world. I find it more and more difficult in life to feel justified while enjoying the wealth that our country has to offer. Does anyone really need a glass dachshund to sit on a shelf? I didn't buy one. But then, I'm not a dog person. I might have been tempted were it something that interested ME! It just seemed to personify the excess cash that many of us have to throw around.
And yet I was annoyed that for the still-pricey conference rate this is the view out of our window. My husband and I rebelled a
t the cost of a bottle of water or a cup of coffee. This hotel is primed to charge you for everything you could possibly need. There is nowhere close to buy an inexpensive meal. We resorted to mining our conference exhibition space for free food and drinks. Don't get me wrong. We can afford to pay the exorbitant prices -- if we choose to. But we aren't comfortable doing so, and after 3 nights, we moved to a cheaper place, with free breakfast and free parking.
I wrote this post from the Gaylord Opryland Hotel, Nashville, Tennessee, whose website boasts that "you'll be amazed at the nine acres of indoor gardens, cascading waterfalls and an indoor river with its own Delta flatboat. Within this lush landscape, you'll discover fine dining and casual restaurants, unique shopping experiences, and a 20,000-square-foot resort spa and fitness center."
It is really too bad that my stay had to follow the
blog post on poverty in the world. I find it more and more difficult in life to feel justified while enjoying the wealth that our country has to offer. Does anyone really need a glass dachshund to sit on a shelf? I didn't buy one. But then, I'm not a dog person. I might have been tempted were it something that interested ME! It just seemed to personify the excess cash that many of us have to throw around.And yet I was annoyed that for the still-pricey conference rate this is the view out of our window. My husband and I rebelled a
t the cost of a bottle of water or a cup of coffee. This hotel is primed to charge you for everything you could possibly need. There is nowhere close to buy an inexpensive meal. We resorted to mining our conference exhibition space for free food and drinks. Don't get me wrong. We can afford to pay the exorbitant prices -- if we choose to. But we aren't comfortable doing so, and after 3 nights, we moved to a cheaper place, with free breakfast and free parking. Addendum: Two nights in the cheaper hotel and we were seriously missing all that luxury! We are so incredibly spoiled! Where do we fit in as people who care about poverty in the world and people who also enjoy the lap of luxury? As children we were told to clean our plates because "people are starving in China." As if we were saving the world, just by eating our vegetables? What is our role in the world as it stands today?
Friday, September 26, 2008
Keep on struttin'
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
For two hours Wednesday night I felt like time had stood still. In my heart I was once again a young woman in my twenties groovin’ to the completely familiar sounds of Neil Diamond. The odd thing was, everyone around me was middle aged or older. There were lots of bald heads, pot-bellies, and flabby women in Koret stretch pants. While my mind had transcended to a familiar place 30 years ago, my body was painfully aware that it looked just like those around me. On one hand, it was rather depressing.
But, on the other hand, we were there with thousands of other Boomers, and like a band of brothers, we screamed and whistled, we sang each word to each song (almost), we clapped, stood, waved our hands in the air, and went wild when Neil took off his coat! His music connected us, not to just to him, but to each other and to a time of our lives when we didn’t know the word “impossible.”
Oddly, one of my most intense emotions was one of pride. Yep. I was proud of Neil, now age 67 and still following his dream and passion. He moved a little slower. In fact, he has a platform that automatically moves back and forth across the stage giving the appearance that he is roaming on his own. He sits down a little more often, and doesn’t wiggle quite as much. (I sat behind him in a concert in the late 70’s when he REALLY did wiggle – unforgettable, really.) But he was out there! Strutting his stuff in the second half of life, singing as well as he ever has with tones that pierce right into your heart and soul. Sure, he’s making bizillions of bucks on this 2008 tour, but he inspired me to keep struttin’, keep singing, keep following the dream.
In a melancholy moment toward the end of the concert he sang his song, Hell, Yeah. The words haunt me this morning because I realize that we can teleport to another place in time through his music, but this tour really could be his last major one. He, like us, faces the reality of his mortality. In some ways, I think he summed up his life’s search for meaning and said goodbye through one of his last songs:
For two hours Wednesday night I felt like time had stood still. In my heart I was once again a young woman in my twenties groovin’ to the completely familiar sounds of Neil Diamond. The odd thing was, everyone around me was middle aged or older. There were lots of bald heads, pot-bellies, and flabby women in Koret stretch pants. While my mind had transcended to a familiar place 30 years ago, my body was painfully aware that it looked just like those around me. On one hand, it was rather depressing.
But, on the other hand, we were there with thousands of other Boomers, and like a band of brothers, we screamed and whistled, we sang each word to each song (almost), we clapped, stood, waved our hands in the air, and went wild when Neil took off his coat! His music connected us, not to just to him, but to each other and to a time of our lives when we didn’t know the word “impossible.”
Oddly, one of my most intense emotions was one of pride. Yep. I was proud of Neil, now age 67 and still following his dream and passion. He moved a little slower. In fact, he has a platform that automatically moves back and forth across the stage giving the appearance that he is roaming on his own. He sits down a little more often, and doesn’t wiggle quite as much. (I sat behind him in a concert in the late 70’s when he REALLY did wiggle – unforgettable, really.) But he was out there! Strutting his stuff in the second half of life, singing as well as he ever has with tones that pierce right into your heart and soul. Sure, he’s making bizillions of bucks on this 2008 tour, but he inspired me to keep struttin’, keep singing, keep following the dream.
In a melancholy moment toward the end of the concert he sang his song, Hell, Yeah. The words haunt me this morning because I realize that we can teleport to another place in time through his music, but this tour really could be his last major one. He, like us, faces the reality of his mortality. In some ways, I think he summed up his life’s search for meaning and said goodbye through one of his last songs:
“So if they ask you when I'm goneNice job, Neil. You made time stand still and made us all feel ageless! Read the review here. And you can play the song as you're reading this blog! (photo by whiper, shared via Flickr)
Was it everything he wanted?
When he had to travel on
Did he know he'd be missed?
You can tell them this
Hell yeah he did
He saw it all
He walked the line
Never had to crawl
He cried a bit
But not for long
Hell yeah he found the life that he was after
Filled it up with love and laughter
Finally got it right and made it fit."
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Memory
Posted by Terry McNichols
I was not happy the other day when I participated in a memory test on Oprah by Dr. Oz (that can't be his real name....must want us to think of wizards when we hear it!) Dr. Oz gave out a phone number and asked everyone to remember it, then they cut to commercial. I repeated it over and over for about 30 seconds, then "Oh, there's an email," and "Hmmm, I wonder what I'll fix for dinner tonight." Remember my post about mouse holes? After the commercial, the audience was asked to repeat the number. I could get 3 or 4 of the numbers, but couldn't possibly remember the whole thing. Am I headed for Alzheimer's? Dr. Oz then stated that it's not so important if you remember the exact number but whether or not you can recognize it in a list of several numbers. Since the number had already been given, I wasn't able to test myself on that part. And I don't think I want to try that test on myself at this point. Too scary!
With the advent of the cell phone, I don't think any of us are very good at remembering phone numbers. I can barely recall my own number, let alone all the number of my kids and friends. Or is the problem that we all have too many numbers? Everyone has their own cell now so it's a home number and a couple of cell numbers for every family. OVERLOAD!
Oprah's response made me a little less worried. She said it's not whether you can remember the name of something right away (example: pen) but that you can remember what it is used for.
(Photo by Antoon's Foobar, shared via Flickr)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A view on suffering
Here is a blog that speaks to the issue of suffering in the lives of Christians.
"You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?" Psalm 56:8
"You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?" Psalm 56:8
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Rerun Tuesdays
The following post is a rerun! We have many faithful readers who have been with us since we started this blog, 100 posts ago! But we are going to begin what we will call "rerun Tuesdays" to recycle some of our favorites for our new readers. Often we will use the rerun to generate Wednesday's blog along the same lines. And we will continue to link back to earlier posts! If you're new, please read our welcome post so you know what we're about.
Rerun Tuesdays
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
A friend died today.
A friend died today.
It’s all too common of an occurrence lately it seems.
My friend: once vibrant, once wild with dreams and ideas--suddenly taken out by the swift blow from an enemy too strong to stand against any longer.
I’m sad. I’m confused. I’m even a little frightened by the reality of human vulnerability. I’m perplexed by the normative Christian response that she is “better off now.”
Once Jesus stood at the tomb where his friend’s dead body lay. He cried. I don’t think he just shed the kind of tears that embarrass grown men. He shouted words that would overcome death for one man for one time. He wept because as a human he experienced what every human before and after him has felt: The sting of death. The wretched reality that one will never walk beside his loved one again on this earth. Ever. The desolate awareness that a power so strong exists that it can snuff out the very breath of life.
Lazarus’ friends told Jesus it stunk. I think he agreed. I sure do. Death stinks.
Lest it appear I have lost faith, I haven’t. In fact, death probably makes me re-evaluate exactly what it is that I believe.
I’m banking on the other words Jesus said while he was here. Like the ones where he promised an eternal Kingdom where He would reign and the enemy called death would be dashed. Forever.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Dash Updated
We should have linked to the poem, The Dash, today to make the post more understandable.
Here is the poem explaining what that dash is....
Here is the poem explaining what that dash is....
The Dash
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
We have spent time reflecting on what we want to experience in our lives, our “bucket lists” if you will. I talked with a friend today who reminded me of the poem, The Dash, written in 1996 by Linda Ellis. This profound poem reminds us that our tombstone will reflect the pre-determined date of our birth and of our death, but it is what lies between those dates that will be remembered by those who know us. It makes one pause to reflect on what we want that dash to include. You might enjoy watching The Dash film. Many churches and small groups are studying The One Month to Live book as a guide for thinking through The Dash. The tag line for the book is “thirty days to a no-regrets life.” Sounds like a great adventure.
We have spent time reflecting on what we want to experience in our lives, our “bucket lists” if you will. I talked with a friend today who reminded me of the poem, The Dash, written in 1996 by Linda Ellis. This profound poem reminds us that our tombstone will reflect the pre-determined date of our birth and of our death, but it is what lies between those dates that will be remembered by those who know us. It makes one pause to reflect on what we want that dash to include. You might enjoy watching The Dash film. Many churches and small groups are studying The One Month to Live book as a guide for thinking through The Dash. The tag line for the book is “thirty days to a no-regrets life.” Sounds like a great adventure.
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Holiness of a Normal Day
Posted by Terry McNichols
The following poem was on the front of my church bulletin shortly after I wrote up yesterday's post called "Normal Day." I think this prayer, by Robert James St. Clair, puts the normal day into perspective for me:
Lord God who reigns supreme over all people, in all lands, through all time and change, whose love does not vary with history, and whose power is not diminished by human recklessness, we ask you now to touch the ordinary things of life to make them sacred.
We are greatly challenged to high adventure in Christ. We are rallied to witness, preach, teach, travel, and be outstanding. We hear the summons but many cannot respond just now. Lord, there are children to dress, business to complete, bills to pay, letters to write, houses to clean, groceries to buy, neighbors to visit, and holidays to celebrate. The one question we persistently ask life is: Where did the time go?
We do not ask to escape our tasks, nor evade our vital obligations. We do ask you to lay your hand of holiness and blessing upon all the ordinary things we must do merely to stay alive and sane in urban life.
Provide us the assurance just now that in your eyes our work is indeed a divine work, and that we are called to do routine work with satisfaction and joy.
In the name of Christ we pray, Amen.
The following poem was on the front of my church bulletin shortly after I wrote up yesterday's post called "Normal Day." I think this prayer, by Robert James St. Clair, puts the normal day into perspective for me:
Lord God who reigns supreme over all people, in all lands, through all time and change, whose love does not vary with history, and whose power is not diminished by human recklessness, we ask you now to touch the ordinary things of life to make them sacred.
We are greatly challenged to high adventure in Christ. We are rallied to witness, preach, teach, travel, and be outstanding. We hear the summons but many cannot respond just now. Lord, there are children to dress, business to complete, bills to pay, letters to write, houses to clean, groceries to buy, neighbors to visit, and holidays to celebrate. The one question we persistently ask life is: Where did the time go?
We do not ask to escape our tasks, nor evade our vital obligations. We do ask you to lay your hand of holiness and blessing upon all the ordinary things we must do merely to stay alive and sane in urban life.
Provide us the assurance just now that in your eyes our work is indeed a divine work, and that we are called to do routine work with satisfaction and joy.
In the name of Christ we pray, Amen.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Normal day
Posted by Terry McNicholsFor years I had a poster with this hanging in my laundry room. It is only after we have weathered heartaches and pain that we learn to bless the normal day!“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so.”
(Photo by petra, shared via Flickr)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Living Like You Were Dying
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
We have written a good deal lately about the idea of making lists of things to do and experience before we die. It sounds so distant and far from reality. I think I’ve treated it like a baby shower game.
But, more often than I wish, the truth of life ending hits home and I’ve begun to wonder what it is that I really want to experience on this earth. The death of this young author, Dave Freeman, (see yesterday's post) who once took the time to compose a list of 100 things he wanted to do before dying, seems cruel and way too ironic.
I’ve thought about what my list should look like. Would it be different if I knew I was dying? Or if I was 20 years older? Would I want to go skydiving and ride a mechanical bull like Tim McGraw’s song “Live Like You Were Dying?” Probably not.
There are truly more places I want to go, like Sweden and Alabama. There are things I wish I owned, like a cabin by a river or a Bayliner motor boat. But, what I really want is to have deep conversations with my children and grandchildren about life and faith. I want to speak with clarity and grace to some of my relatives who don’t understand that God is real and that He loves them. I want to do and experience things that have meaning to God. I want to be sure that old people living in poverty get something to eat. I want to understand the generations and watch them interact with each other. I want to experience serenity.
Rather than live like I’m dying, I think I’m going to try living like I’m alive. Stay tuned.
We have written a good deal lately about the idea of making lists of things to do and experience before we die. It sounds so distant and far from reality. I think I’ve treated it like a baby shower game.
But, more often than I wish, the truth of life ending hits home and I’ve begun to wonder what it is that I really want to experience on this earth. The death of this young author, Dave Freeman, (see yesterday's post) who once took the time to compose a list of 100 things he wanted to do before dying, seems cruel and way too ironic.
I’ve thought about what my list should look like. Would it be different if I knew I was dying? Or if I was 20 years older? Would I want to go skydiving and ride a mechanical bull like Tim McGraw’s song “Live Like You Were Dying?” Probably not.
There are truly more places I want to go, like Sweden and Alabama. There are things I wish I owned, like a cabin by a river or a Bayliner motor boat. But, what I really want is to have deep conversations with my children and grandchildren about life and faith. I want to speak with clarity and grace to some of my relatives who don’t understand that God is real and that He loves them. I want to do and experience things that have meaning to God. I want to be sure that old people living in poverty get something to eat. I want to understand the generations and watch them interact with each other. I want to experience serenity.
Rather than live like I’m dying, I think I’m going to try living like I’m alive. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
100 things to do
Posted by Terry McNichols
In line with our recent posts on lists and our elderly friend's comments about planning to live as though she'd live to be a 100 and as though she would be leaving today, I thought it was particularly poignant to read about the death recently of Dave Freeman, co-author of "100 Things To Do Before You Die." He died at the age of 47 after a fall at his home, having managed to see about half of the things in his book.
"LORD, make me to know my end And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am." Psalm 39:4
"LORD, make me to know my end And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am." Psalm 39:4
Monday, September 15, 2008
Boomer wrap up
Posted by Terry McNichols
This article on working with Boomers in the church setting was published in its entirety on the Christianity Today website. We have enjoyed our discussion of its parts and hope that this conversation will generate some new ideas for you and your friends.
This article on working with Boomers in the church setting was published in its entirety on the Christianity Today website. We have enjoyed our discussion of its parts and hope that this conversation will generate some new ideas for you and your friends.
Breaking the “Boomer Code” – Part 5 of 5
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
Code Breaker #4: Find Significance
It has been said that significance is the new capital, meaning it is not enough for people to have arrived at financial security in midlife. What people really hunger for is to make a significant contribution to the world. Many Boomers are asking “Am I meant to do something more with my life?”
Bob Buford, author of HalfTime and Finishing Well, and CEO and president of Leadership Network states, “Success to me is using your knowledge and experience to build up your own portfolio. Significance is using your knowledge and experience to share with others. I really believe the church is going to be the logical gateway for increasing levels of significance in society – if the leaders in the church are willing to challenge people.”
It is important that as we plan ministry with Boomers that we don’t try to corral them into a “group” but rather train, equip, and deploy them into a world that needs their ideas and energy. We can create infrastructures that not only inspire Boomers to make a difference but provide
opportunities to do so.
We have been thrilled to watch people in the second half of life tackle the challenges of our society. We’ve taken many on short-term mission trips to countries that needed their expertise and skills. We’ve seen Boomers transform schools, communities, government, businesses, and families. This may be the time that Boomers fulfill the dreams of that Beatles’ song, “They say we want a revolution, oh no, we just want to change the world….”
Opportunities Ahead
These are four code breakers that we think will begin to break down the walls for ministry with and through Boomers. The old ways are not going to work with this generation. Ministry will need to be new, fresh, innovative – and be the Boomers’ ideas!
Our conclusion is that there is plenty of passion, plenty of energy and plenty of need! The time is now for us to be creative and work together to reach Boomers for Christ and watch them bloom!
Code Breaker #4: Find Significance
It has been said that significance is the new capital, meaning it is not enough for people to have arrived at financial security in midlife. What people really hunger for is to make a significant contribution to the world. Many Boomers are asking “Am I meant to do something more with my life?”
Bob Buford, author of HalfTime and Finishing Well, and CEO and president of Leadership Network states, “Success to me is using your knowledge and experience to build up your own portfolio. Significance is using your knowledge and experience to share with others. I really believe the church is going to be the logical gateway for increasing levels of significance in society – if the leaders in the church are willing to challenge people.”
It is important that as we plan ministry with Boomers that we don’t try to corral them into a “group” but rather train, equip, and deploy them into a world that needs their ideas and energy. We can create infrastructures that not only inspire Boomers to make a difference but provide
opportunities to do so.We have been thrilled to watch people in the second half of life tackle the challenges of our society. We’ve taken many on short-term mission trips to countries that needed their expertise and skills. We’ve seen Boomers transform schools, communities, government, businesses, and families. This may be the time that Boomers fulfill the dreams of that Beatles’ song, “They say we want a revolution, oh no, we just want to change the world….”
Opportunities Ahead
These are four code breakers that we think will begin to break down the walls for ministry with and through Boomers. The old ways are not going to work with this generation. Ministry will need to be new, fresh, innovative – and be the Boomers’ ideas!
Our conclusion is that there is plenty of passion, plenty of energy and plenty of need! The time is now for us to be creative and work together to reach Boomers for Christ and watch them bloom!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Theft Problem - Important message
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.
My butt was next. I knew it as the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt
was attached at least three inches lower than the original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary -- my body was being replaced on section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -- stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted," look again -- was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX! This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone. But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband!!!
(Author Unknown -- sent to Leona by a friend! We DO use the things you send us!)
(photo by squacco, shared via Flickr)
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.
My butt was next. I knew it as the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt
was attached at least three inches lower than the original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary -- my body was being replaced on section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -- stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted," look again -- was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX! This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone. But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband!!!
(Author Unknown -- sent to Leona by a friend! We DO use the things you send us!)
(photo by squacco, shared via Flickr)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The Nighttime What Ifs
Posted by Terry McNichols
I have long been a fan of Shel Silverstein and his irreverent poems. My children grew up hearing the poems from A Light in the Attic and Where the Sidewalk Ends. I plan to read them to my grandchildren as well. This one is one of my favorites and I have used the "nighttime what ifs" phrase to describe many types of fears, realistic or un. I started a thread on fear here, and will be continuing, so here is the poem to serve as a reference point.
I have long been a fan of Shel Silverstein and his irreverent poems. My children grew up hearing the poems from A Light in the Attic and Where the Sidewalk Ends. I plan to read them to my grandchildren as well. This one is one of my favorites and I have used the "nighttime what ifs" phrase to describe many types of fears, realistic or un. I started a thread on fear here, and will be continuing, so here is the poem to serve as a reference point.Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some What ifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old What if song:
What if I'm dumb in school?
What if they've closed the swimming pool?
What if I get beat up?
What if there's poison in my cup?
What if I start to cry?
What if I get sick and die?
What if I flunk that test?
What if green hair grows on my chest?
What if nobody likes me?
What if a bolt of lightning strikes me?
What if I don't grow tall?
What if my head starts getting smaller?
What if the fish won't bite?
What if the wind tears up my kite?
What if they start a war?
What if my parents get divorced?
What if the bus is late?
What if my teeth don't grow in straight?
What if I tear my pants?
What if I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime What ifs strike again!
What if by Shel Silverstein
(Photo by Dukal, Flickr)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Caring for Aging Parents
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
Those of us in midlife whose parents are still living will no doubt face an array of paradoxical feelings, emotions and realities regarding their care and support. We find ourselves perplexed, confused, frustrated, and also blessed. We want so much to obey the command to “honor our mothers and fathers,” but we struggle with wanting to maintain our own boundaries, not wanting to intrude, and simply not knowing what to do. Everyone’s story is different, but one thing is common: We must learn when to hang on and when to let go – and when to seek help.
I am often asked for resources in how to lovingly and wisely care for our parents. One very helpful source is a website/blog written by my colleague and friend David Solie. He is a physician assistant as well as an insurance industry professional. I find his insights to be intriguing and encouraging. A recent post addresses the issue of stress in caring for aging parents. I think it is wise counsel. I wish I had written it.
Check out David's book for further insights.
Those of us in midlife whose parents are still living will no doubt face an array of paradoxical feelings, emotions and realities regarding their care and support. We find ourselves perplexed, confused, frustrated, and also blessed. We want so much to obey the command to “honor our mothers and fathers,” but we struggle with wanting to maintain our own boundaries, not wanting to intrude, and simply not knowing what to do. Everyone’s story is different, but one thing is common: We must learn when to hang on and when to let go – and when to seek help.
I am often asked for resources in how to lovingly and wisely care for our parents. One very helpful source is a website/blog written by my colleague and friend David Solie. He is a physician assistant as well as an insurance industry professional. I find his insights to be intriguing and encouraging. A recent post addresses the issue of stress in caring for aging parents. I think it is wise counsel. I wish I had written it.
Check out David's book for further insights.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Boomer thoughts on Refocusing
Posted by Terry McNichols
This is a good opportunity to once again plug Leona's video, Musical Chairs. This video is a 7-minute short that looks at different options open to boomers and would be a good discussion starter for your own friends or small group.
I recently heard a sermon that referenced the words of Mother Teresa: "Do the thing that is in front of you." In searching for the context of that quote, I came across the following, quoted from World Bank website:
This is a good opportunity to once again plug Leona's video, Musical Chairs. This video is a 7-minute short that looks at different options open to boomers and would be a good discussion starter for your own friends or small group.
I recently heard a sermon that referenced the words of Mother Teresa: "Do the thing that is in front of you." In searching for the context of that quote, I came across the following, quoted from World Bank website:
In his keynote address, Tony Hall, former U.S. Congressman, Ambassador to the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) in
Monday, September 8, 2008
Breaking the “Boomer Code” – Part 4 of 5
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
Code Breaker #3: Re-Focus
The story is told of a rabbi in a Russian city at the turn of the century. He was disappointed by a lack of direction and purpose. As he aimlessly walked the empty streets he began to question his faith in God, the Scriptures and his call to ministry. The only thing colder than the winter air was the chill in his own heart. In his despair he mistakenly wandered into a Russian military compound, which was off limits to any civilians. Out of the silence a loud voice barked, "Who are you and what are you doing here?" yelled a Russian guard. "Excuse me?" replied the rabbi. "I said, who are you and what are you doing here?" After a moment, the rabbi asked the guard, "How much do you get paid every day?" "What does that have to do with you?" the guard responded. The rabbi responded, "I will pay you the equal sum if you will ask me those same two questions every day: "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
These are pertinent questions for people in the second half of life. They have a unique opportunity to re-examine and re-assess their lives and determine a new direction for their remaining years.
This is probably the most critical code-breaker in ministry with Boomers. We can help create opportunities, whether in a retreat setting or in a series of classes or small groups, that help people make that exploration. Galatians 6:4-5 in The Message says “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be
impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”
In our ministry we use a basic re-focus process:
• Review Biblical passages that capture one’s unique purpose in life.
• Reflect on one’s own personal life and develop a timeline that reviews critical incidents, times of growth, significant people, decisions, and how God has worked in the past.
• Identify one’s core values, things about which one is passionate.
• Discover one’s gifts and strengths (using Meyers-Briggs, Strengths Finder or other tools)
• Compose a personal mission statement that includes goals, action plans and God-directed vision for the second half of life.
The transitions and changes at this season of life provide the stage upon which one can perform new drama – or, as some would call, an Encore!
We have found that refocusing is equally critical for women as well as men. Boomers are the “I am Woman, I am Exhausted” generation. They’ve tried to do it all – develop a career, parent, care for parents, exercise and stay fit. This is an important time to slow down and refocus our lives and determine how to live out the bonus years.
Code Breaker #3: Re-Focus
The story is told of a rabbi in a Russian city at the turn of the century. He was disappointed by a lack of direction and purpose. As he aimlessly walked the empty streets he began to question his faith in God, the Scriptures and his call to ministry. The only thing colder than the winter air was the chill in his own heart. In his despair he mistakenly wandered into a Russian military compound, which was off limits to any civilians. Out of the silence a loud voice barked, "Who are you and what are you doing here?" yelled a Russian guard. "Excuse me?" replied the rabbi. "I said, who are you and what are you doing here?" After a moment, the rabbi asked the guard, "How much do you get paid every day?" "What does that have to do with you?" the guard responded. The rabbi responded, "I will pay you the equal sum if you will ask me those same two questions every day: "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
These are pertinent questions for people in the second half of life. They have a unique opportunity to re-examine and re-assess their lives and determine a new direction for their remaining years.
This is probably the most critical code-breaker in ministry with Boomers. We can help create opportunities, whether in a retreat setting or in a series of classes or small groups, that help people make that exploration. Galatians 6:4-5 in The Message says “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be
impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”In our ministry we use a basic re-focus process:
• Review Biblical passages that capture one’s unique purpose in life.
• Reflect on one’s own personal life and develop a timeline that reviews critical incidents, times of growth, significant people, decisions, and how God has worked in the past.
• Identify one’s core values, things about which one is passionate.
• Discover one’s gifts and strengths (using Meyers-Briggs, Strengths Finder or other tools)
• Compose a personal mission statement that includes goals, action plans and God-directed vision for the second half of life.
The transitions and changes at this season of life provide the stage upon which one can perform new drama – or, as some would call, an Encore!
We have found that refocusing is equally critical for women as well as men. Boomers are the “I am Woman, I am Exhausted” generation. They’ve tried to do it all – develop a career, parent, care for parents, exercise and stay fit. This is an important time to slow down and refocus our lives and determine how to live out the bonus years.
Friday, September 5, 2008
New grandbaby
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
Our blog is called “Grace and Gravity” because the experiences of midlife usually fall in one of the two categories. Today I am experiencing grace in all capital letters and a few exclamation points. For today we celebrate the arrival of our grandson, Nolan Matthew. This beautiful little guy entered the world at 8:15 pm,.jpg)
September 4, and has deeply touched and forever changed our lives.
The Psalmist said we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Our new baby grandson adds the AMEN to that. This little guy (if you can call 8 pounds 8 ounces, 21 1/2 inches long “little”...) is truly a picture of God’s best work in creation. His bright and sparkling deep blue eyes open wide at the sound of his mom’s voice. He fits perfectly in the crook of his dad’s arms. It’s all just too wonderful for word!
And now, I get to bask in the glow and grace of being a grandma for the second time! Blessing upon blessing! Miracle upon miracle! Grace upon GRACE!
Our blog is called “Grace and Gravity” because the experiences of midlife usually fall in one of the two categories. Today I am experiencing grace in all capital letters and a few exclamation points. For today we celebrate the arrival of our grandson, Nolan Matthew. This beautiful little guy entered the world at 8:15 pm,
.jpg)
September 4, and has deeply touched and forever changed our lives.The Psalmist said we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Our new baby grandson adds the AMEN to that. This little guy (if you can call 8 pounds 8 ounces, 21 1/2 inches long “little”...) is truly a picture of God’s best work in creation. His bright and sparkling deep blue eyes open wide at the sound of his mom’s voice. He fits perfectly in the crook of his dad’s arms. It’s all just too wonderful for word!
And now, I get to bask in the glow and grace of being a grandma for the second time! Blessing upon blessing! Miracle upon miracle! Grace upon GRACE!
Grace? Or Gravity?
Posted by Terry McNichols
Here is a quote that is an example of the "grace" perspective that is part of our blog:
It actually gets worse! I didn't want to fill our blog with her depressing statements. This comes at the end of what reviewers say is a very humorous book. But there doesn't seem to be a lot to look forward to in her view of aging. According to General MacArthur, Nora Ephron has indeed "grown old." I'll bet she's cranky, too!
(Photo by bk86a, Flickr)
Here is a quote that is an example of the "grace" perspective that is part of our blog:
“People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope as old as your despair. In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber. So long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage, so long are you young. When your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and then only, are you grown old. And then, indeed as the ballad says, you just fade away.” -- General Douglas MacArthurAnd on the "gravity" side of things, here is another way of looking at old age, from Nora Ephron's book, I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman:
I loathed being sixty-four, and I will hate being xisty-five. I don't let on about such things in person: in person I am cheerful and Pollyannaish. But the honest truth is that it's sad to be over sixty. The long shadows are everywhere -- friends dying and battling illness. A miasma of melancholy hangs there, forcing you to deal with the fact that your life, however happy and successful, has been full of disappointments and mistakes, little ones and big ones. There are dreams that are never quite going to come true, ambitions that will never quite be realized. There are, in short, regrets . . . There are all sorts of books written for older women . . uniformly upbeat and full of bromides and homilies about how pleasant life can be . . . I find these books utterly useless . . . Why do people write books that say it's better be older than to be yhounger? It's not better. Even if you have all your marbles, you're constantly reaching for the name of the person you met the day before yesterday. Even if you're in great shape, you can't chop an onion the way you used to and you can't ride a bicycle several miles without becoming a candidate for traction. . . . A magazine editor called and asked me to write something on [aging]. . . . she said 'You know what drives me nuts? Why do women our age say, "In my day. . .?" THIS is our day. But it isn't our day. It's their day, we're just hanging on.If you can bear to read the entire closing section of her book, you will find it here.
It actually gets worse! I didn't want to fill our blog with her depressing statements. This comes at the end of what reviewers say is a very humorous book. But there doesn't seem to be a lot to look forward to in her view of aging. According to General MacArthur, Nora Ephron has indeed "grown old." I'll bet she's cranky, too!
(Photo by bk86a, Flickr)
Thursday, September 4, 2008
How Do You Keep From Becoming A Cranky Old Woman?
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
I went to breakfast with a friend this morning who had just come off of a rather unpleasant encounter with an older woman. After telling me some of her story, she put down her fork, looked me eye to eye and earnestly asked, “How do you keep from becoming a cranky old woman?”
I chuckled because her intense desire to acquire some formula for her own life has been shared by many. In my decades of working with older people I feel like I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen really nice women become cranky, grumpy and downright unpleasant; and cranky women become pleasant – a scenario seen far less frequently. However, generally speaking, we don’t really change all that much as we get older. We just become more so.
So, how do you keep from becoming a cranky old woman? Don’t be cranky now! Start developing attitudes and perspectives early in age that keep you on the sunny side of life. Here are some thoughts I had while thinking through this morning’s question.
1. It all starts with a spirit of gratitude and thankfulness. I cannot recall one person who was cranky and filled with gratitude at the same time. It seems to me that when we understand the graciousness of God, and that everything He gives and allows is truly good, then we begin to be thankful in all things.
2. Focus on something other than oneself and one’s aches and pains. Non-cranky people seem to have a propensity for considering the needs of others and finding ways to serve mankind in some way.
3. Laugh more. You just can’t stay cranky when you see a little humor in most everything around you. Actually, laughing at oneself a little never hurts. Non-crankies usually have a good healthy sense of humor, even in pain.
4. Play with a toddler once in awhile. Or a puppy.
5. Carry a snack in your purse. I have found that cranky people are often hungry people with low blood sugar. :-)
No formula. Just some thoughts. I also googled “How do you keep from becoming a cranky old woman?” and found this WikiHOW article called "How to Deal With A Cranky Senior Citizen" that opens the possibility that others aren’t as cranky as we think!
For more on the topic, check out another view, by a good friend.
(Photo by Patrick Q, Flickr)
I went to breakfast with a friend this morning who had just come off of a rather unpleasant encounter with an older woman. After telling me some of her story, she put down her fork, looked me eye to eye and earnestly asked, “How do you keep from becoming a cranky old woman?”
I chuckled because her intense desire to acquire some formula for her own life has been shared by many. In my decades of working with older people I feel like I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen really nice women become cranky, grumpy and downright unpleasant; and cranky women become pleasant – a scenario seen far less frequently. However, generally speaking, we don’t really change all that much as we get older. We just become more so.
So, how do you keep from becoming a cranky old woman? Don’t be cranky now! Start developing attitudes and perspectives early in age that keep you on the sunny side of life. Here are some thoughts I had while thinking through this morning’s question.1. It all starts with a spirit of gratitude and thankfulness. I cannot recall one person who was cranky and filled with gratitude at the same time. It seems to me that when we understand the graciousness of God, and that everything He gives and allows is truly good, then we begin to be thankful in all things.
2. Focus on something other than oneself and one’s aches and pains. Non-cranky people seem to have a propensity for considering the needs of others and finding ways to serve mankind in some way.
3. Laugh more. You just can’t stay cranky when you see a little humor in most everything around you. Actually, laughing at oneself a little never hurts. Non-crankies usually have a good healthy sense of humor, even in pain.
4. Play with a toddler once in awhile. Or a puppy.
5. Carry a snack in your purse. I have found that cranky people are often hungry people with low blood sugar. :-)
No formula. Just some thoughts. I also googled “How do you keep from becoming a cranky old woman?” and found this WikiHOW article called "How to Deal With A Cranky Senior Citizen" that opens the possibility that others aren’t as cranky as we think!
For more on the topic, check out another view, by a good friend.
(Photo by Patrick Q, Flickr)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Boomer definitions
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
Again, from my newly mined new book Generation Ageless by J. Walker Smith and Ann Clurman. Boomers define things differently today than they did in times past. Here’s an example of Boomer definitions:
Again, from my newly mined new book Generation Ageless by J. Walker Smith and Ann Clurman. Boomers define things differently today than they did in times past. Here’s an example of Boomer definitions:| | Yesterday…. | Today… |
| Growing old | Slowing down | Keeping pace |
| Staying active | Walking, shopping, visiting | Running, skiing, traveling |
| A snooze | An afternoon nap | An Ambien |
| An adventure | Trying a new restaurant | Trying a new country |
| The authority | Cronkite | Oprah |
| Favorite tunes | Bootlegged | Downloaded |
| Being expressive | Tie dye | A Tattoo |
| Having fun | Supper clubs, bridge | Girls night out; Texas hold’em |
| Enjoying a feast | A nice steak | Free range organic chicken |
| Job success | Corner office | Home office |
| Mental Health | est, TM, Synanon | Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac |
| The environment | Ozone hole | Melting Poles |
Generation Ageless
J Walker Smith and Ann Clurman
Collins Publishing, 2007
Page 214
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Boomer thoughts #3
Posted by Terry McNichols
My husband and I left our established home and community 7 years ago and set off on an adventure. Ken was burned out with his nose-to-the-grindstone life and I was happy to pull up roots and join him. We spent the next 4 years doing short stints in different place. Ken worked as a Doc 4 Hire and I reinvented myself in every new location. It was so much fun and a true adventure. It was also a great time for the two of us to reconnect, after the struggles of raising teens, getting them off to college and then married, running a couple of businesses and meeting all the obligations we had incurred.
But the one thing we both found in our nomadic lifestyle was that we had also left behind relationships. We made new short-term friends, and even a few new long-term friends, but there is nothing like staying put in one community for all of one's life to foster friendships. When we decided to settle down, we opted for a home in the big city. We are near a couple of our kids and thus get to enjoy the benefits of grandparenting. And our adult children and their spouses have become our best
friends.
I will attest, however, to the fact that making friends at this point in life is more difficult. It takes a major effort to find ways to connect with busy people who already have established friendships. I will post some suggestions on a future post, but for now, I agree that there are challenges to the boomers among us.
(Photos by Pink Sherbet Photography and rabataller, Flickr)
My husband and I left our established home and community 7 years ago and set off on an adventure. Ken was burned out with his nose-to-the-grindstone life and I was happy to pull up roots and join him. We spent the next 4 years doing short stints in different place. Ken worked as a Doc 4 Hire and I reinvented myself in every new location. It was so much fun and a true adventure. It was also a great time for the two of us to reconnect, after the struggles of raising teens, getting them off to college and then married, running a couple of businesses and meeting all the obligations we had incurred.But the one thing we both found in our nomadic lifestyle was that we had also left behind relationships. We made new short-term friends, and even a few new long-term friends, but there is nothing like staying put in one community for all of one's life to foster friendships. When we decided to settle down, we opted for a home in the big city. We are near a couple of our kids and thus get to enjoy the benefits of grandparenting. And our adult children and their spouses have become our best
friends.I will attest, however, to the fact that making friends at this point in life is more difficult. It takes a major effort to find ways to connect with busy people who already have established friendships. I will post some suggestions on a future post, but for now, I agree that there are challenges to the boomers among us.
(Photos by Pink Sherbet Photography and rabataller, Flickr)
Monday, September 1, 2008
Breaking the “Boomer Code” – Part 3 of 5
Posted by Leona Bergstrom
Code Breaker #2: Relationships
When we first began working with Boomers we surveyed a large sampling of them and discovered that individuals were longing for relationships and a sense of community. During the child-raising years it seemed relatively easy for relationships to develop around common interests such as soccer teams and ballet recitals. But with life morphing into something unrecognizable there seemed to be a deepening need for relationships. Also, those
surveyed responded simply, “We just want to have some FUN.”
Yep, these adults who are working 60-80 hours a week, babysitting grandkids, caring for increasingly dependent parents, paying off mortgages and college tuition bills, and going to the doctor more frequently, well, they want to kick up their heels and have some fun “like the good old days.”
So a great deal of our ministry has been in developing opportunities through which Boomers can begin to make new friends, share life and party! One success that has now become an annual event is our “Boomer Bash.” We started when the Boomers first started turning 60 so that we could celebrate such a milestone. We pulled out the tie-dye shirts, daisy chains, pizza and Cokes – oh, and a real live Golden Oldies band, and we threw a party! What happened was that people
laughed, tapped their toes, danced, remembered and sang every word to every song, and had fun. They also heard the stories of fellow-Boomers who had found Christ and how their lives had been changed. The first Bash broke down some walls and smashed some stereotypes and incredibly, it wasn’t so bad to be in the 2nd ½ Ministries group!
We’ve worked at trying to create environments in which people can develop relationships. We do small group dinners, have large group gatherings around themes and interests, and hold classes and support groups around common issues and concerns. We’ve seen churched people begin to forge relationships with each other and reach out to other Boomers in their communities. Inviting one’s un-churched friend to hear a Beatles sound-alike band might be an easier entrée to church than morning worship.
Code Breaker #2: Relationships
When we first began working with Boomers we surveyed a large sampling of them and discovered that individuals were longing for relationships and a sense of community. During the child-raising years it seemed relatively easy for relationships to develop around common interests such as soccer teams and ballet recitals. But with life morphing into something unrecognizable there seemed to be a deepening need for relationships. Also, those
surveyed responded simply, “We just want to have some FUN.”Yep, these adults who are working 60-80 hours a week, babysitting grandkids, caring for increasingly dependent parents, paying off mortgages and college tuition bills, and going to the doctor more frequently, well, they want to kick up their heels and have some fun “like the good old days.”
So a great deal of our ministry has been in developing opportunities through which Boomers can begin to make new friends, share life and party! One success that has now become an annual event is our “Boomer Bash.” We started when the Boomers first started turning 60 so that we could celebrate such a milestone. We pulled out the tie-dye shirts, daisy chains, pizza and Cokes – oh, and a real live Golden Oldies band, and we threw a party! What happened was that people
laughed, tapped their toes, danced, remembered and sang every word to every song, and had fun. They also heard the stories of fellow-Boomers who had found Christ and how their lives had been changed. The first Bash broke down some walls and smashed some stereotypes and incredibly, it wasn’t so bad to be in the 2nd ½ Ministries group!We’ve worked at trying to create environments in which people can develop relationships. We do small group dinners, have large group gatherings around themes and interests, and hold classes and support groups around common issues and concerns. We’ve seen churched people begin to forge relationships with each other and reach out to other Boomers in their communities. Inviting one’s un-churched friend to hear a Beatles sound-alike band might be an easier entrée to church than morning worship.
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