Pushing a Rope

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I honestly do try to stay positive.

I am thoroughly convinced that ministry with people in midlife and beyond is critically important to the health of the church. I highly value long life and I believe that people in the second half of life have purpose and significance. I ‘m also quite sure that this generation of aging adults (sometimes called Boomers) is uniquely poised at this particular time of history to make a difference.

But there are days that I get weary of trying to convince church leaders that it matters. Some days I feel like I’m pushing a rope.

It seems as though there is greater interest in developing ministries for the young. the new church plant, the emergent movement….  all fun, interesting, innovative, and dynamic. All important.

But, if the church continues to trivialize the journey called aging, the consequences will be significant. Not only will we squelch the enthusiasm of an entire generation, we will quench the movement of the Spirit at such a time as this.

(Photo by bench_30, shared via Flickr)

God's Provision for Such a Time as This

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Boomers have the arguable reputation for going against the flow.

“You say you want a revolution...” Remember the words of those unintentional architects of a new culture, the Beatles? Those were words that defined a generation as one that wanted to change the world, making it a better place filled with love, peace and harmony. Today this boomer generation is being analyzed, dissected, even recreated as it hurls toward its later years. Not surprisingly, the world is taking notice, as it has whenever the generation makes a communal sneeze or even a hiccup.

The front end of the boomers are now well launched into their 60s and beginning to collect Social Security. This generation is causing an uproar in marketing, politics, finances, families, healthcare and yes, even religious circles. Books are being written, movies made and documentaries abound.

While we could talk about the generation's questionable distinctive, it may behoove us to consider God's purpose for this uniquely designed generation. Consider for a moment that this generation may be one of the most educated, most financially adept generations ever. Consider that this cohort, while tagged the “me generation,” reportedly contributes more dollars a year toward charitable causes than any previous generation. Consider that while the boomers have dabbled in numerous philosophies and religions, they are also seeking truth and finding, or returning to, faith in Christ in notable numbers.

While midlife and older adult ministry leaders are scratching their heads trying to develop programs that will meet the needs of boomers, consider that perhaps God, in His sovereignty, has constructed such a revolutionary, activist, intelligent, generous, spiritual and determined people to face head on the problems and pains of a needy world. Perhaps our assignment as ministry leaders is not to pamper this generation, but to inspire it to take on its God-given responsibilities. In other words, it's time we encouraged the boomers to accept the mantle of leadership -- for such a time as this!

Rerun Tuesdays - our feelings about long life

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

We have worked hard at adding years to life – through research and medical advancement.

But, we meant to add years to our youth.

We want more years when we are 25 and young and healthy and virile and independent.

But added years of life didn’t get credited to that account. They were credited to the later years. That part of life of which we are most afraid, most dread, and least understand. We don’t really get more years to be with our babies, learn and discover new and exciting things, pursue power, money and sex.

No, we get more years to watch our bodies morph on us into something we neither recognize nor appreciate. We have more years to deal with chronic illness. More years to be alone without a spouse. More years to be devalued, unappreciated. More years to be old. More years to be what we were trying not to be.

This is cause for despair. Fear. Angst.

How are we as a generation going to appreciate having more years to live when somehow we feel so gypped and are so resentful?

How are we going to live longer when we don’t know how to be old?
(Photo by 1Sock, shared via Flickr)

Boomer wrap up

Posted by Terry McNichols

This article on working with Boomers in the church setting was published in its entirety on the Christianity Today website. We have enjoyed our discussion of its parts and hope that this conversation will generate some new ideas for you and your friends.

Breaking the “Boomer Code” – Part 5 of 5

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Code Breaker #4: Find Significance

It has been said that significance is the new capital, meaning it is not enough for people to have arrived at financial security in midlife. What people really hunger for is to make a significant contribution to the world. Many Boomers are asking “Am I meant to do something more with my life?”

Bob Buford, author of HalfTime and Finishing Well, and CEO and president of Leadership Network states, “Success to me is using your knowledge and experience to build up your own portfolio. Significance is using your knowledge and experience to share with others. I really believe the church is going to be the logical gateway for increasing levels of significance in society – if the leaders in the church are willing to challenge people.”

It is important that as we plan ministry with Boomers that we don’t try to corral them into a “group” but rather train, equip, and deploy them into a world that needs their ideas and energy. We can create infrastructures that not only inspire Boomers to make a difference but provide opportunities to do so.

We have been thrilled to watch people in the second half of life tackle the challenges of our society. We’ve taken many on short-term mission trips to countries that needed their expertise and skills. We’ve seen Boomers transform schools, communities, government, businesses, and families. This may be the time that Boomers fulfill the dreams of that Beatles’ song, “They say we want a revolution, oh no, we just want to change the world….”

Opportunities Ahead

These are four code breakers that we think will begin to break down the walls for ministry with and through Boomers. The old ways are not going to work with this generation. Ministry will need to be new, fresh, innovative – and be the Boomers’ ideas!

Our conclusion is that there is plenty of passion, plenty of energy and plenty of need! The time is now for us to be creative and work together to reach Boomers for Christ and watch them bloom!

Boomer thoughts on Refocusing

Posted by Terry McNichols
This is a good opportunity to once again plug Leona's video, Musical Chairs. This video is a 7-minute short that looks at different options open to boomers and would be a good discussion starter for your own friends or small group.

I recently heard a sermon that referenced the words of Mother Teresa: "Do the thing that is in front of you." In searching for the context of that quote, I came across the following, quoted from World Bank website:

In his keynote address, Tony Hall, former U.S. Congressman, Ambassador to the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) in Rome, Nobel Peace Prize nominee, and author of the book Changing the Face of Hunger, challenged the audience to put into action the words of Mother Teresa, "Do the thing in front of you," and to never forget that one person can truly make a difference. "Before trying to change things on a large scale, find something that you know that you can do something about. It just takes an idea, one or two people, and not a lot of money to do something that can change the world."

Look here for an excellent review of Changing the Face of Hunger, that tells the context in which this was said to Tony Hall. I have been challenged to not only look at what I can do in the face of world hunger and poverty, but also to be alert for the "thing in front of me."

Breaking the “Boomer Code” – Part 4 of 5

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Code Breaker #3: Re-Focus

The story is told of a rabbi in a Russian city at the turn of the century. He was disappointed by a lack of direction and purpose. As he aimlessly walked the empty streets he began to question his faith in God, the Scriptures and his call to ministry. The only thing colder than the winter air was the chill in his own heart. In his despair he mistakenly wandered into a Russian military compound, which was off limits to any civilians. Out of the silence a loud voice barked, "Who are you and what are you doing here?" yelled a Russian guard. "Excuse me?" replied the rabbi. "I said, who are you and what are you doing here?" After a moment, the rabbi asked the guard, "How much do you get paid every day?" "What does that have to do with you?" the guard responded. The rabbi responded, "I will pay you the equal sum if you will ask me those same two questions every day: "Who are you and what are you doing here?"


These are pertinent questions for people in the second half of life. They have a unique opportunity to re-examine and re-assess their lives and determine a new direction for their remaining years.

This is probably the most critical code-breaker in ministry with Boomers. We can help create opportunities, whether in a retreat setting or in a series of classes or small groups, that help people make that exploration. Galatians 6:4-5 in The Message says “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”

In our ministry we use a basic re-focus process:
• Review Biblical passages that capture one’s unique purpose in life.
• Reflect on one’s own personal life and develop a timeline that reviews critical incidents, times of growth, significant people, decisions, and how God has worked in the past.
• Identify one’s core values, things about which one is passionate.
• Discover one’s gifts and strengths (using Meyers-Briggs, Strengths Finder or other tools)
• Compose a personal mission statement that includes goals, action plans and God-directed vision for the second half of life.

The transitions and changes at this season of life provide the stage upon which one can perform new drama – or, as some would call, an Encore!

We have found that refocusing is equally critical for women as well as men. Boomers are the “I am Woman, I am Exhausted” generation. They’ve tried to do it all – develop a career, parent, care for parents, exercise and stay fit. This is an important time to slow down and refocus our lives and determine how to live out the bonus years.

Boomer definitions

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Again, from my newly mined new book Generation Ageless by J. Walker Smith and Ann Clurman. Boomers define things differently today than they did in times past. Here’s an example of Boomer definitions:

	Yesterday….	Today…
Growing old	Slowing down	Keeping pace
Staying active	Walking, shopping, visiting	Running, skiing, traveling
A snooze	An afternoon nap	An Ambien
An adventure	Trying a new restaurant	Trying a new country
The authority	Cronkite	Oprah
Favorite tunes	Bootlegged	Downloaded
Being expressive	Tie dye	A Tattoo
Having fun	Supper clubs, bridge	Girls night out; Texas hold’em
Enjoying a feast	A nice steak	Free range organic chicken
Job success	Corner office	Home office
Mental Health	est, TM, Synanon	Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac
The environment	Ozone hole	Melting Poles

Generation Ageless
J Walker Smith and Ann Clurman
Collins Publishing, 2007
Page 214

Boomer thoughts #3

Posted by Terry McNichols

My husband and I left our established home and community 7 years ago and set off on an adventure. Ken was burned out with his nose-to-the-grindstone life and I was happy to pull up roots and join him. We spent the next 4 years doing short stints in different place. Ken worked as a Doc 4 Hire and I reinvented myself in every new location. It was so much fun and a true adventure. It was also a great time for the two of us to reconnect, after the struggles of raising teens, getting them off to college and then married, running a couple of businesses and meeting all the obligations we had incurred.

But the one thing we both found in our nomadic lifestyle was that we had also left behind relationships. We made new short-term friends, and even a few new long-term friends, but there is nothing like staying put in one community for all of one's life to foster friendships. When we decided to settle down, we opted for a home in the big city. We are near a couple of our kids and thus get to enjoy the benefits of grandparenting. And our adult children and their spouses have become our best friends.

I will attest, however, to the fact that making friends at this point in life is more difficult. It takes a major effort to find ways to connect with busy people who already have established friendships. I will post some suggestions on a future post, but for now, I agree that there are challenges to the boomers among us.

(Photos by Pink Sherbet Photography and rabataller, Flickr)

Breaking the “Boomer Code” – Part 3 of 5

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Code Breaker #2: Relationships

When we first began working with Boomers we surveyed a large sampling of them and discovered that individuals were longing for relationships and a sense of community. During the child-raising years it seemed relatively easy for relationships to develop around common interests such as soccer teams and ballet recitals. But with life morphing into something unrecognizable there seemed to be a deepening need for relationships. Also, those surveyed responded simply, “We just want to have some FUN.”

Yep, these adults who are working 60-80 hours a week, babysitting grandkids, caring for increasingly dependent parents, paying off mortgages and college tuition bills, and going to the doctor more frequently, well, they want to kick up their heels and have some fun “like the good old days.”

So a great deal of our ministry has been in developing opportunities through which Boomers can begin to make new friends, share life and party! One success that has now become an annual event is our “Boomer Bash.” We started when the Boomers first started turning 60 so that we could celebrate such a milestone. We pulled out the tie-dye shirts, daisy chains, pizza and Cokes – oh, and a real live Golden Oldies band, and we threw a party! What happened was that people laughed, tapped their toes, danced, remembered and sang every word to every song, and had fun. They also heard the stories of fellow-Boomers who had found Christ and how their lives had been changed. The first Bash broke down some walls and smashed some stereotypes and incredibly, it wasn’t so bad to be in the 2nd ½ Ministries group!

We’ve worked at trying to create environments in which people can develop relationships. We do small group dinners, have large group gatherings around themes and interests, and hold classes and support groups around common issues and concerns. We’ve seen churched people begin to forge relationships with each other and reach out to other Boomers in their communities. Inviting one’s un-churched friend to hear a Beatles sound-alike band might be an easier entrée to church than morning worship.

Breaking the “Boomer Code” – Part 2 of 5

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

Code Breaker #1: Recognition

The first thing leaders must do is to understand what makes Boomers so distinct. Simply put: Demographically, they are 78 million persons in the United States aged 46-62. Historically, they form the single largest generational cohort. Philosophically, they have redefined American culture. Sociologically, they connect through a unique generational identity bordered by dramatic historical events, music, and mass media. Economically, they are the wealthiest generation in American history. And spiritually, they are seeking authenticity, experience and personal truth.

To effectively minister we will need to:
• Recognize Boomers as members of a unique generational cohort, connected by shared experiences.
• Recognize that Boomers do not want to be referred to as “seniors” and don’t want to be associated with stereotypical seniors ministries. (Or as one Boomer told us, “I don’t want to be in the same group as my mother.”)

• Recognize that Boomers are transitioning into uncharted physical, emotional and spiritual territory.

More lists!

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I have been reading a fascinating book, Generation Ageless by J. Walker Smith and Ann Clurman. It is actually a report from a study on Boomers done in 2006 by Yankovich Inc. I was excited to read it because it reinforced, with actual data, some of our perceptions and observations regarding Boomers.

Terry wrote yesterday about her friend’s list of things to do before she turns 100 years old. It was a fascinating reflection of her values and hopes and they were clearly examples of both grace and gravity! In the report mentioned above, Yankovich Inc. asked Boomers the question “How likely are you to focus your energies and invest your time over the next five to ten years?” The top 15 answers:

1. Focus more time and energy on my grandchildren.
2. Spend more time with family
3. Read more books
4. Get more out of life.
5. Take more control over my future.
6. Do things I’ve always wanted to do.
7. Have enough money to get by.
8. Learn a new skill or hobby.
9. Have new adventures that are exciting and fun
10. Plan for my retirement.
11. Make new friends
12. Spend more on my grandkids
13. Forgive myself more
14. Get more involved in social causes
15. Deepen my relationship with God.

Breaking the “Boomer Code” – Part 1 of 5

Posted by Leona Bergstrom


When we talk with leaders of older adult ministries in churches we consistently hear a comment something like this: “How are we going to attract the younger people? Boomers just don’t seem to want to be a part of our seniors group.”

Our answer: Most likely you’re not going to bring the Boomers into anything that looks or acts like a “seniors” ministry. It’s going to have to be unique, compelling and maybe even revolutionary!

The Baby Boomers, referring to those adults that were born sometime between 1946 and 1964, is a generation unlike any other. Defined by the historical, political, economic and social events of its youth, this cadre of aging adults may be chronologically qualified for the Seniors Ministry, but its fairly safe to say that they aren’t rushing to join.

Many individuals within this generation are still searching for truth, meaning and a reason for their existence. One need not look far to find books, articles and websites written by Boomers who are struggling with transitions into a new phase of life. It is clear that opportunities for ministry are abundant and significant.

So how do we minister to Boomers? How do we begin to break through the walls of denial, indifference, arrogance, rebellion, and fear that seem to surround this generation? How do we share Christ with a people group that is known for spiritual exploration and tolerance? How do we meet the needs of Boomers who are facing unprecedented changes? How do we break the code?

As a result of working with Boomers in our own church and with leaders of 50’s+ ministries in other churches and denominations across the country, we have begun to identify some code breakers. We have decided to continue this thread for the next 4 Mondays, as we discuss the code breakers!
(Photo by David Reeves, Flickr)

Geezers Give Back - Leona

I love how people in our generation are beginning to find ways to give back to the next generations. This article highlights some interesting stories. I love the last line of the article:

If more people take on encore careers, he says, “The boomers who arrived on the scene by igniting a sexual revolution could leave by staging a give-back revolution. Boomers just may be remembered more for what they did in their 60s than for what they did in the Sixties.”

Read the article here!

A thought about boomers and our feelings about long life - Leona speaks

We have worked hard at adding years to life – through research and medical advancement.

But, we meant to add years to our youth.

We want more years when we are 25 and young and healthy and virile and independent.

But added years of life didn’t get credited to that account. They were credited to the later years. That part of life of which we are most afraid, most dread, and least understand. We don’t really get more years to be with our babies, learn and discover new and exciting things, pursue power, money and sex.

No, we get more years to watch our bodies morph on us into something we neither recognize nor appreciate. We have more years to deal with chronic illness. More years to be alone without a spouse. More years to be devalued, unappreciated. More years to be old. More years to be what we were trying not to be.

This is cause for despair. Fear. Angst.

How are we as a generation going to appreciate having more years to live when somehow we feel so gypped and are so resentful?

How are we going to live longer when we don’t know how to be old?